A Neriman Tail
by Kami1
Summary: When one Genma Saotome and his son seek out the legendary martial arts master Son Gohan for training, they end up with the master's grandson -- Goku -- as a pupil. If you thought Ranma's life was chaotic before, imagine the chaos Son Goku will bring.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own neither Dragonball nor Ranma ½.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Mr. Tendo opened his mail. Throwing away a number of adds and fliers, the black-haired man came to a post card with a panda on the front. Slightly confused, the middle-aged martial artist flipped the card around and saw a nearly illegible scrawl he'd never forget: Hi. Bringing the children from China. Saotome.  
  
Gushing crocodile tears, the Tendo patriarch gripped the letter with manic intensity. "Oh how I've w-w-waited for this day!"   
  
The moustachioed master of Anything Goes Martial Arts never even considered the odd wording of his old friend's message. Why write children? As far as Soun knew, Genma had only ever had one son. Fortunately for Mr. Tendo's positive state of mind, the prospect of seeing his former training partner again overrode any other considerations.  
  
"Happy day! I'd best go tell my daughters the good news!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane! Akane? Where is that girl?"  
  
As the Tendo patriarch screamed out a summons for his three daughters, the youngest of the trio -- Akane -- was just returning from her morning run. Briefly wiping some sweat off of her face, the teenaged girl cast off her jogging clothes in favour of her preferred yellow gi. Then, setting up a few cinder blocks, the sixteen year-old let out a mighty roar, as she broke said blocks into pieces with a mighty blow.  
  
"Hyaah!"  
  
Observing her handiwork, the youngest of the Tendo daughters wiped her brow, remarking contentedly, "Whew. That was nice."  
  
A voice cut into the young woman's self-congratulations abruptly. "There you go again, Akane. No wonder all the boys think you're weird." Nabiki, the second-born of Soun's children, stood behind her sister neutrally. Clad in short shorts and a skin-tight top, the middle sister was, as always, more daringly dressed than either of her siblings.  
  
Turning with a half-glare at her intruding sister, Akane replied cynically, "So, why should I care? Not everyone thinks the world revolves around boys, Nabiki." The word "boys" was spat particularly harshly, though the entire phrase carried considerable venom.  
  
"No?" Nabiki placed her arms behind her head in a relaxed manner and turned to walk away. "Then, I guess this wouldn't interest you?"  
  
Curious about what her sister was referring to, Akane quickly jogged after Nabiki. Oh... she could be so infuriating sometimes. That was the moment when she heard her father's voice in the family room. He was, apparently, explaining something to Kasumi. Overhearing only the end of the explanation, the martial artist still managed to hear enough to reach a conclusion. Seething, Akane charged into the room her sisters had already entered, making her presence known with an incredulous yell.  
  
"Fiance!?!"  
  
Ignoring his daughter's ire, Soun Tendo replied, motioning for Akane to take a seat where a cup of tea had been set up at the table. "Yes: the son of a very good friend of mine. If one of you three girls were to marry him, and carry on this dojo, then the Tendo family legacy would be secure."  
  
"Wait a minute!" Akane spat, her predisposition slowly moving from annoyed to positively murderous. "Don't we have some say in who we marry?"  
  
Somewhat more calmly, the eldest sister's echoed Akane's viewpoint: "Akane's right, daddy. We've never even met this boy."  
  
Ever the optimist, Soun released a hearty chuckle, still holding his friend's postcard. "That's easily fixed."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
All across the streets of Nerima, a running battle was being waged. The combatants -- a boy, a girl, and a panda -- were sprinting desperately: the girl to avoid an engagement: the panda to enforce the engagement, and the boy was following for no real reason at all. In a burst of incredible speed, the wild animal caught up to its prey, sending a mighty punch in the young girl's direction. Hurling the shoes she'd been holding, as she ran barefooted, the redheaded, young woman leaped over the blow, replying with a kick that sent her pursuit reeling.  
  
"Yo! Cut that out!"  
  
A steadily increasing crowd of onlookers gazed at the strange spectacle, one commenting, as the panda rose, "Say isn't that a panda?"  
  
Another man replied uncertainly, "It is a panda, isn't it?"  
  
Said panda spit out a bit of blood and dropped into a bizarre martial arts stance: not a common thing for wild animals to do. The girl adopting her own stance responded to the beast's motions with a cocky reply.  
  
"Your move."  
  
The panda unleashed a flurry of blows, pushing the redhead to her limits, as she desperately dodged. The crowd gasped, as she barely ducked under another blur of white and black fur.  
  
"Well, I still say this whole thing sucks!"  
  
Finally perceiving an opening in her foe's defences the girl grabbed her opponents arm, hurling the panda away with a massive throw.  
  
"Choosing my fiancé for me without even asking!!"  
  
Momentarily breathing hard, the prodigal martial artist seemed to watch the animal carefully. Then, seemingly certain the panda wasn't getting up, she turned away, flipping her pigtail. Hefting her pack, she mocked her foe: "I'm going back to China. Suck on that old man!"  
  
As the girl turned away from the panda, the animal began to silently rise. Hefting a sign with the words Show some respect boy! printed on it, the giant animal moved to bash the youth over the head. Before he could, however, the small boy who'd been following the duo leaped on top of the girl's head, causing the panda to freeze.  
  
"Please don't do that, Ranma! Swimming to China is soooooooooo boring and it takes sooooooooooooo long!"  
  
In reply, the young woman simply groaned. "Jeez, Goku. What's your problem? Don't you wanna get cured too?"  
  
The boy began to moan pitifully. "But last time I didn't get to eat for four, whole days! I was starving!"  
  
"Oh, c'mon, kid. You mighta got lucky, falling into the spring of drowned man, but I ended up a girl! There ain't no way I'm gettin' any fiancé before I'm cured!"  
  
As Goku pouted, the currently human youth spotted Ranma's dad behind the cursed boy. He was holding up a second sign now, which read If you move, I promise we won't swim back.  
  
Unfortunately, Goku was not a particularly literate individual and, thus was forced to read out loud.  
  
"If... you... move... I... promise... we... won't... swim... back."  
  
Ranma was now getting confused. What the heck was the little kid going on about now?  
  
"Oh! Thanks, Mr. Saotome!"  
  
Goku leaped off of Ranma's head, just as Ranma finally figured out what was going on. As a third sign, bearing the words Heh heh! Got you now boy! fired down towards the martial artist's head, the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts spun around, turning the finisher into an only glancing blow.  
  
"C'mon pops! Is that the best you can do?"  
  
Apparently it wasn't, as, taking advantage of his son's distraction, the master of Anything Goes crushed Ranma's skull between the two signs he'd used earlier. Then, lifting the boy turned girl over his shoulder in a fire man's carry, the victorious Saotome began to walk away, quieting the crowds protests with a few, menacing growls.  
  
"You're really good, Mr. Saotome. Do you think that the Tendo's will have some hot water, so I can change back?"  
  
Damn straight, boy. The Tendo's are old friends and own an entire dojo.  
  
-o--o--o-   
  
"Ranma and his father have been on a voyage of training! Recently, it seems, they crossed into China."  
  
Putting on an enthusiastic facade, Nabiki exclaimed, "Wow! China!" Inwardly, the most mercenary of the sisters added another fact to her mental file on Ranma. She doubted that marrying a wandering martial artist would prove beneficial to her plans, but one should never ignore any information or opportunities. If Ranma proved desirable, she would take him.  
  
Akane's response was somewhat less positive. "What's so great about walking to China?"  
  
Nabiki continued, "Is he cute?", while the eldest of the Tendo sisters asked in a concerned tone, "How old is he? Younger men bore me."  
  
Mr. Tendo simply laughed, not easing either girl's mind in the least. Thus, while Akane looked away from her father disconsolately, both her sisters simultaneously asked, "What kind of guy is this Ranma?"  
  
Finally, the Tendo patriarch seemed to sober. Adopting a serious pose, and clearing his throat, Soun replied, "No idea?"  
  
"No idea!?!"  
  
Nabiki moved so that she was glaring at her father from no more than a few inches away.   
  
"I've never met him."  
  
A sudden commotion at the front of the Tendo household disturbed the confrontation between Soun and his second daughter.  
  
"Leggo, y'ol' fool! Hey Goku, why ain't ya helpin' me here!?!"  
  
All three Tendo daughters turned towards the ensuing conflict.   
  
"Hm. We must have visitors," Kasumi noted easily.  
  
Nabiki quickly made the simple connection and leaped up to go see her new fiancé, closely followed by her father. Smiling in anticipation, she said, "Ooooh! It must be Ranma!"  
  
As the father-daughter duo charged to the front door, Kasumi quickly straightened her hair, thinking, "Oh, I hope he's older."  
  
Akane remained unhappy with the prospect of a fiancé. The thought foremost in her mind was quite simple: "How depressing. Boys!"  
  
As quickly as they'd gone, Nabiki and Soun swiftly returned, trailed by a giant panda bear. The youngest sister and oldest sister simply sweat dropped at the strange turn of events. The animal seemed to be carrying a youth on his back, as well. Additionally, a young boy was perched on the beast's head, wearing a wide grin. Even for Nerimans, such events were somewhat out of the ordinary.  
  
The figure on the panda's back turned its head to yell at the panda. "Hey! Yo! You're scaring 'em spitless!"  
  
As Soun and Akane sweat dropped, staring silently, Kasumi whispered, "Daddy... this... is your friend?" Nabiki's response was somewhat more furious.  
  
"Oh, so this panda just decided to visit! Happens all the time!"  
  
Breaking Soun out of his stupor, the panda quickly placed the person he'd been holding in front of Mr. Tendo. As the individual looked upwards hopefully, a burst of inspiration struck Soun. Pointing at the new arrival, he began uncertainly, "You... wouldn't be..."  
  
Playing with his or her own pigtail, the individual replied nervously, "Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."  
  
Breaking into a wide smile and grabbing the arrival, Soun yelled joyfully, "At last! You've come!"  
  
Nabiki's response was equally enthusiastic, as she gazed at her potential fiancé from behind her father's back. "Oooooo! He's cute!"  
  
Enclosing the youth in a firm hug, Soun cried, tears streaming down his cheeks, "It's so good of you to come! So-"  
  
Soun's glomp halted, as he slowly backed away from Ranma, staring at the supposed boy's chest and sweating bullets."  
  
Suspicious, Nabiki said, "Hmmmm..." as she poked the Tendo's guest a few time in the chest."  
  
"Getting annoyed at the repeated pokes to her chest, "Ranma requested, "Um... could you stop that."  
  
Nabiki simply glared at her father, utterly ignoring the apparent girl. "He... is a girl."  
  
It was at about that moment that Soun collapsed and Akane screamed.  
  
"Eeeeek! Pervert!"  
  
Somewhat unsure about the youngest Tendo's sexuality in her unrevealing, yellow gi, Goku had preceded to do a closer inspection than purely visual of Akane. Though his pat pats assured him that she was a girl, they did nothing to endear the youth to the female martial artist. Grabbing a nearby flower vase, Akane crashed her weapon over Goku's head, interrupting his cheery remarks.  
  
"Oh, so you are a gir- Ughhh..." The Saiyajin turned human collapsed.  
  
-o--o--o-   
  
The Tendo dojo's wind chimes rang ominously, setting the mood for the coming confrontation. Soun Tendo lay dejectedly on the floor, covered in a blanket and with tears streaming down his face.  
  
Sitting demurely, Kasumi sympathetically remarked, "Oh, poor daddy. He's so disappointed." Nabiki was somewhat less forgiving of her father's error.  
  
"He's disappointed! Some fiancé this is!"  
  
"Stop it you two!" Akane cut in, breaking her eyes away from scowling at a still prone Son Goku to chide her sisters. "He... she.. is our guest!"  
  
Becoming increasingly annoyed, as well as unhappy at her younger sibling's reprimand, Nabiki continued ranting at her dismayed father. "This is all your fault, daddy! You should have made sure!"  
  
"Well, he said he had a son."  
  
Reaching a limit to her patience, the young woman squeezed the right breast of the aforementioned guest for the second time that day to accentuate her point. "Do you see a son here? Do you?"  
  
Becoming annoyed with the girl who kept poking and squeezing her in uncomfortable places, Ranma said, "Um... I really wish you'd stop that."  
  
Sympathetic to the girl's plight. Akane stood up behind her, leaning down to ask, "Hey. Join me in the practise hall?" Noting some hesitation, the youngest Tendo gave the guest her brightest smile. "I'm Akane. You want to be friends?"  
  
Attracted by the girl's friendliness, Ranma's lips quirked upwards in a hopeful grin, as he nodded. Inside, he thought, "Man, I haven't had a real friend since junior high and that smile was pretty cute. I hope the curse doesn't scare her away. I could really use a friend."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"You do kempo, don't you?"  
  
Replying to Akane's question neutrally, from the opposite side of the Tendo dojo, Ranma said, "A little."  
  
Brightening at her new friend's response, Akane dropped into a basic ready stance. "Then let's have a little match, okay?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Just for fun," Akane added to reassure the girl. "Don't worry. I won't hurt you."  
  
Ranma simply clenched his arms behind his back and bowed his head, indicating readiness. "If you say so."  
  
Moving into an offensively oriented position, Akane took her training partner's cue to attack. "Better start with something easy," she thought to herself. "If she's not even in a stance, she probably isn't too good."  
  
Having considered her options carefully, Akane charged forward, releasing a simple punch that even a beginner could have blocked. Rather than doing so, however, Ranma leapt over the blow and did the splits to avoid the follow-up kick. Still in the air, the heir to the Saotome school dodged another three punches by mere inches and then, upon landing, proceeded to twist out of the way of a pair of Akane's best blows effortlessly.  
  
Now breathing hard from the few moments' exertion, the heir to the Tendo school considered her options wordlessly. "Why... Why am I missing her? Is she reading my moves?" Concluding that the new guest was definitely a formidable martial artist, Akane prepared to give it her all. "Okay," she thought, "this time for real!"  
  
Unleashing a potent blow in Ranma's direction, the female martial artist abruptly found her hand smashed through the wall, having completely missed the girl once again. Then, she felt a light touch on the back of her head. Ranma had somehow managed to circle around her and poke her before she'd even been aware that her new friend had moved.   
  
The two girls both began laughing nervously, Ranma fiddling with his pigtail momentarily. Being the first to calm down, Akane noted, "You're pretty good." Then turning towards the door of the dojo, Akane finished: "I'm just glad you're a girl. It's just... I'd just really hate to lose to a boy."  
  
With her last comment, the youngest Tendo turned and smiled, reassuring her new friend that there were no hard feelings. Ranma simply quavered at Akane's words. She wouldn't be happy when she learned about the curse.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Two old men, masters of the martial arts, sat facing one another solemnly. Tears raining down the cheeks of the last masters of Anything Goes, Genma and Soun welcomed each other in a manner befitting martial artists of their stature: silently and content in their meeting.  
  
"Kasumi," Nabiki inquired, pointing in the direction of the family room, "who's that old guy?"  
  
The elder sister, working diligently to make a sizzling dinner replied, "Got me."  
  
Seeing her task could wait a few minutes, Kasumi went to see if she could find their guest. As caretaker of her family, the young woman felt she'd acted most inappropriately to their obviously nervous visitor and was, thus, feeling guilty. "Ranma! Where are you, Ranma?"  
  
Finally locating the girl on the back porch, the elder sister asked the girl politely, "Wouldn't you like a bath?"  
  
"Huh? No! I mean it's okay."  
  
Placing her hands on the smaller girl's shoulders, Kasumi insisted, "No, it's not! You must be all sweaty from your workout! A proper lady shouldn't appear as such."  
  
Fighting down the urge to insist she was a man, Ranma finally nodded at the older woman's insistence. "Sure... I mean, I guess I can, if you want."  
  
Accepting Kasumi's smile and nod as confirmation, the martial artist stood up, climbing the stairs to the furo. Opening the door, she quickly stripped down, closing the door behind her, as she began to rinse herself with cold water. Stepping into the warm furo, he sighed in contentment, as the change back to his true form took place, and then began to consider his options. "Now what do I do?"  
  
Unbeknownst to Ranma, Goku had seen him enter the furo and figured he would bathe with his almost older brother. After all, he, Ranma and Mr. Saotome had bathed together on a number of occasions. There was nothing unusual in such actions and he really wanted to change back to normal. Unfortunately, for the fourteen year-old martial artist, Akane had also seen Ranma's entrance.  
  
"Hah! And he said he wasn't a pervert. Trying to see if I was a girl! As if that's what you were trying to see!"  
  
Trailing after Goku, in hopes of catching him peeping, Akane walked into the furo herself, knowing there was nothing wrong with two girls seeing each other. Therefore, the youngest Tendo daughter managed to walk in, fortunately for her, fully dressed, on a now very male Ranma, just as he was exiting the furo.  
  
Eyes widening, Akane simply stared. She'd entered the room, expecting to find her friend, Ranma: a girl. Instead, some naked boy had walked out of the furo Ranma had been using. Wait a second. A strange boy in the furo that Ranma had been using... There was only one explanation.  
  
"You pervert! If you did anything to Ranma, I'll kill you!" Akane quickly hoisted a stool, holding the piece of wood as if to throw it.  
  
"Hey! Who're you callin' a pervert? If anyone's a pervert, it's you walkin' in on me like this."  
  
Having a boy call her a pervert was a new experience for Akane. Usually, she was the one calling boys perverted. How dare he? That was when Goku decided to walk in. Totally unclad, the teenager, as was usual for him, utterly ignored the presence of a girl in the same room as him, going so far as to accidentally rub against Akane as he passed by. Of course, the gi-clad teen completely misinterpreted the boys actions and might have returned to pervert smasher mode had not something even stranger occurred.  
  
Blithely waving to the naked boy who had, since Akane's entrance, ducked back into the tub, Goku hesitantly stuck his foot into the scalding furo, prompting one of the weirdest transformations the Tendo daughter had ever seen. In the space of an instant, Son Goku's hair went from limp to wildly spiked, his musculature increased greatly and, most unusual of all, a furry, brown tail sprouted out of his back. Even for Akane Tendo, Goku's change was a little too peculiar to rationally deal with. It looked to her as if he'd transformed into some sort of hairless monkey. Therefore, the heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts screamed... and screamed... and screamed... and, finally, her sisters arrived.  
  
Kasumi barely managed to let out and "Oh my!" before she fainted.  
  
Fortunately, Nabiki was made of sterner stuff. "Okay, jungle boy, though I appreciate the free show, I still want to know what's going on here."  
  
However, before the middle sister's interrogation could continue, Ranma's voice came from the opposite corner of the room. Somewhere, in the confusion, he'd found a towel... no, wait. Rather, he'd appropriated Akane's gi top and wrapped it around his lower body. "No. Let Goku take his bath. I think I can explain this."  
  
"And you would be?"  
  
Then, she noticed the resemblance. The face, the pigtail... He was...  
  
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"All right," Soun stated, gesturing towards a trio of male figures seated to his right, "I'll explain it once more."  
  
Each of Mr. Tendo's daughters was seated across from the men, their expressions ranging from incredulous to intrigued. Almost an hour had been required to calm down Akane and wake Kasumi, but now, finally, it appeared that everything would be revealed.  
  
"This is my good friend..."  
  
"Genma Saotome," an older man, wearing glasses, finished seriously. "And this is my son..."  
  
"Ranma," the boy to his right mirrored the method of introduction his elders had used.  
  
As Akane stared suspiciously at both Ranma and Goku, Kasumi took the opportunity to speak up. "Are you really her? That same girl."  
  
Nabiki's focus was somewhat different. "Who cares about that? Compared to monkey boy, super fast sex changes are nothing!"  
  
The older, gi-clad figure put a figure to his forehead contemplatively. "Hmmmm. Where should I begin? I know..."  
  
Grabbing both his son and Goku in a flash, Genma hurled them both towards the Tendo's koi pond. "Hyah!"  
  
"Hey!" both Ranma and the Saiyajin yelled as they flew towards the water. Upon hitting the pond's surface, the two boys momentarily quieted, but in a flash of motion the two youths were above water again.   
  
"What the hell are you doing!?!"  
  
"That was really mean!"  
  
The three Tendo's looked on in wonderment. Goku's hair had gone from spiky to flat once more, his eyes turning from pupiless black to a light blue colour, while Ranma was once more displaying a feminine figure that would put some models to shame.  
  
"They changed!"  
  
Crying, with fists clenched, Mr. Saotome struck a dramatic pose. "My own son. So humiliating. So humiliating." A swift jump kick from Ranma interrupted the older man's weeping, sending the elder Saotome flying into the pond as well.  
  
"Who are you to talk," the pigtailed martial artist mocked, as his father burst from the pond in panda form.  
  
Kasumi moved beside her father to quietly ask "Daddy? Why are you friends with them?"  
  
"They weren't like this before! Not before they went to China... and undertook that terrifying training exercise!"  
  
A quick soak in the furrow and the three, male martial artists returned in their natural forms.  
  
Again the faced the girls, as Genma began their story. "Ah yes. It was two fateful weeks ago."  
  
Flashback  
  
"Here sir. Is legendary training ground of accursed springs."  
  
Behind Genma were three teenaged boys, one shorter than the other two. All four of the martial artists looked upon the springs without trepidation. Compared to the active volcano they'd visited or even the training ground of rabid wolves, this Jusenkyo didn't seem like much.  
  
The tallest of the quartet by a small margin, a boy with a yellow bandanna and small fangs, smirked at Ranma mockingly. "So Ranma, ready to get beaten senseless?"  
  
"In your dreams, Ryouga. We've been training for what, a year now, and you've barely ever beaten me at all!"  
  
Snarling the teen replied by jumping onto one of the bamboo poles that were spread across the training ground. "Feh, Ranma. If you think you're so great, try backing your words up, or are you to scared you sissy?"  
  
Dropping his pack, Ranma leapt up to a pole that matched Ryouga's in height and smirked. "C'mon, Ryouga. You know you can't beat me in the air. You're not bad at the aerial moves, but there's no way you can beat me."  
  
"We'll see about that, Ranma!"  
  
Leaping towards his foe with complete abandon, Hibiki arrived in time to watch Ranma springing away to another pole: exactly what he'd hoped for. Aiming for the bamboo foothold that was Ranma's target, Ryouga jumped, managing to beat his opponent to the pole.  
  
"I've got you now, Ranma!"  
  
The heir to the Saotome school was an old hand in aerial combat, however and, thus, managed to dodge a pair of powerful punches easily. What he didn't anticipate was that Ryouga had developed a technique that charged his bandannas with raw ki. Therefore, he was unprepared when one of the nigh unbreakable bandannas wrapped around his left wrist.  
  
"You're not getting away this time!" That was the very moment when Genma chose to join the conflict, taking advantage of the opening each boy left in his defences to land a devastating pair of kicks. He was so satisfied with knocking his students to the ground that he entirely forgot his own trajectory; that was, he forgot until he landed in one of the springs.  
  
Goku was the only one of the martial artists who didn't immediately join in the fighting. Usually, he'd be the first to start sparring, but he hadn't eaten in a whole day and was really hungry.  
  
"This place very dangerous. Is more than one hundred springs here, and each have its own tragic legend! Is very bad if you fall into a spring."  
  
Only half listening to the Jusenkyo guide, the young Saiyajin decided to take a swim before eating. He was pretty sure he'd heard the guide say something about falling in the springs being bad, so he'd have to wade in, but that was okay. Slipping into the nearest spring, Goku felt a strange shift in his balance and, before he knew it, he was plunging into the spring head first. That was when he noticed that his tail was gone and his hair had gone all weird.  
  
"Oh! You is very lucky sir. You only touch waters from spring of drowned man. All other springs cast horrible curse, but this one do nothing since you is already man."  
  
End Flashback  
  
"So we all fell into one of the accursed springs, though we're still unsure as to why Goku was affected."  
  
"The legendary ground of accursed springs. Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now..."  
  
Ranma was seething at the recollection of his humiliation, but before he could attack his father, Nabiki cut in. The story had made a few things clear, but not many. "Wait a second. Who's this Ryouga guy? Also, you still haven't explained why Goku has a tail."  
  
Ranma, however, had had enough. "Feh! Whaddya mean true horror?"  
  
Grabbing his father by the front of his white gi, Ranma spat, "Yo, old man! What's the idea takin' me to a place like that, anyway?"  
  
For the second time that night, Genma tossed his son into the koi pond. "You sound like a woman! Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of your training!?!"  
  
Beginning to glow with a faint, green battle aura, Ranma said darkly, "My life, yes." Blazing across towards his father, landing a bucket full of cold water on his head, Ranma yelled, "My manhood is another story!"  
  
As Ranma and Genma-panda fought all across the room, Soun declared, tears again drenching his normally stern countenance, "Oh, what a tragedy!" His sobbing was interrupted, however, as Goku approached, pulling on his pant leg.  
  
"Um, Mr. Tendo. Do you know where I could find something to eat? I'm really hungry."  
  
The patriarch was about to reply, as Nabiki took the choice out of his hands. Seeing the opportunity to finally get some answers, she grabbed the strange boy by the arm. "Don't worry. I'll get you some food, and then you can tell me all about your adventures."  
  
Becoming increasingly annoyed by the violence, Kasumi did something entirely uncharacteristic of her: she yelled. "Stop that!"  
  
Even Genma was unable to ignore the normally subdued daughter, as she grabbed his arm. "You just went too far, Mr. Saotome! What ever could have made you do such a thing?"  
  
In response, the panda threw a small book in the eldest female Tendo's direction.  
  
Picking the book up, Kasumi tried to make sense of the words on the cover. "It's a Chinese map and guide book. I think it says something about training grounds. No wonder. You can't read Chinese, can you?"  
  
A huge party favour exploded over Genma's head, signalling that Kasumi was Correct!  
  
Ranma simply hit the man turned panda over the head. "What a stupid father!"  
  
Interrupting the father-son moment, Soun took the opportunity to pour scalding water on Genma from a nearby kettle. Admittedly, the water was a little warmer than was really necessary, causing Genma to momentarily writhe in pain, but the kettle did the job.  
  
"So. When doused with hot water, you return to normal form."  
  
Still wincing in response to the boiling water, the elder Saotome clarified, "Well, it needn't be quite that hot, Tendo."  
  
The Master of the Tendo school then moved to Ranma's position. "When doused with cold water, you become a girl, but hot water turns you back into a boy!" Accompanying his final words, the older man attempted to pour some of the scalding water he carried onto Ranma. Needless to say, Ranma dodged his attempts.  
  
"Hot water! Not boiling!"  
  
Giving up on forcing the boy's transformation, Soun patted his future son-in-law on the back. "No sweat. Your problem isn't so terrible after all."  
  
"Huh? What're you-"  
  
"My daughter Kasumi: nineteen. And Nabiki... who is not here at the moment. Finally, Akane: sixteen. Pick the one you want. She's your fiancé."  
  
Before Akane could respond to this new turn of events, she found her older sister pushing her gently towards Ranma. "Oh, he wants Akane."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"She's obviously interested in him, or else she wouldn't have tried to peep on him in the furo."  
  
"You must be joking! I wasn't peeping!"  
  
"See daddy, she's not denying that she likes him. They're obviously a perfect match." Kasumi nodded her head enthusiastically, a cheerful smile on her face."  
  
Mr. Tendo stroked his moustache, deep in thought. "Well, then it appears the match has been made already. Ranma, I give you permission to marry my daughter."  
  
"Me, marry that pervert." both Ranma and Akane stated simultaneously. "Never!"  
  
"Wait a second," both added, turning to face one another. "Who are you calling a pervert!?!"  
  
"You tried to assault me in the furo and took my shirt!"  
  
"Yah! Well you walked in on me! How's that for perverted?"  
  
"It's different when a girl sees a boy! You were trying to strip me, you jerk!"  
  
The patriarchs of the two families simply laughed companionably to one another. "They're already a perfect couple!"  
  
Akane turned from the argument momentarily to glare at her father and Mr. Saotome. "He's a couple by himself!" Then turning back to her new fiancé, she continued where they had left off. "And if you ever try that-"  
  
"Goodbye!" Ranma said as he walked towards the Tendo household's front door.  
  
Glaring at his wayward son, Genma asked, "Where are you going boy?"  
  
"Back to China! To find a way to change back for good! This is no time for 'fiancés.'"  
  
Akane stared noncommittally at Ranma's retreating form. If that perverted boy wanted to leave, it was no concern of hers. She hadn't wanted a fiancé anyway. She remained essentially unconcerned until Ranma turned to get in a parting shot.  
  
By the way, you took a pretty good look at me in the furo, so you should no I wouldn't be interested in stripping some ugly chick like you. After all, if I want to see a naked girl, I can just take a look in the mirror, and I'm better built to boot!"  
  
Ranma's deriding laugh was cut off, as the Tendo's table was planted on her head courtesy of Akane. Following her assault, the youngest Tendo stormed off to her room. This had been a very bad day. "Ooooh! That jerk!"  
  
Mr. Saotome echoed the girl's sentiments, noting, "Now that he had coming!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Ranma awoke slowly and in considerable pain. "Ugh... What hit me?"  
  
Recognizing her guest's awakening immediately, Kasumi quickly moved to tend to the younger girl. "Oh good! You're awake."  
  
The elder Tendo daughter's voice brought Ranma back to the present quite quickly. The engagement... Akane... the table: images of the past began to register in his conscious mind. With these memories came as well pain: a lot of pain. Grabbing the back of her head and moaning, the martial artist took note of her surroundings. The older girl, not his brand new fiancé, was kneeling beside him and looking worried.  
  
"Are you okay? Please don't think too badly of Akane. She's really a sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac."  
  
That comment finally awoke Ranma from his stupor. "Was that supposed to reassure me?" he thought to himself. "What kind of crazy place have I ended up in? Well, at least it can't be as bad as Jusenkyo, I guess."  
  
After thanking Kasumi, as he learned was the elder sister's name, the heir to Saotome martial arts decided that he could really use a long soak in the furo. Finding out there was no hot water boiled was a large part of this decision, but also it appeared that Goku was occupied by Nabiki, who interrogating the younger boy, as the tailed youth ate the Tendos out of house and home. Ryouga wasn't here to spar with and pops was bust laughing about something with that other old guy, so he was on his own; hence, the furo was chosen as his intended destination.  
  
Walking slowly down the stairs that led to her sole source of hot water, at the moment, Ranma reflected on his fiancé's actions. She'd been so nice initially; he'd hoped to find a new friend for the first time in over a year. Then, however, she'd floored him with the table. "Jeez. What kind of girl is she anyway? My head's still smarting from that cheap shot. So much for friends when she found out I'm a boy!"  
  
Tossing away her shirt and pants, the Anything Goes practitioner opened the door to the furo, only to find a naked Akane standing stunned in front of him. Having spent the last hour attempting to alleviate her urge to smash her fiancé again for humiliating her, Akane had finally admitted that maybe Ranma wasn't such a pervert. After all, would she prefer if he'd strutted around naked like Goku? Then, he decided to peep on her. Maybe, even worse, he'd intended to try to take advantage of her in the bath!  
  
In an instant, all her feelings of humiliation and anger, directed at Ranma, came roaring back. He was a pervert after all! Trying to take advantage of her... Pow! The pre-eminent, young martial artist in Japan found himself floored, for the second time that night, by his erstwhile fiancé.  
  
Scarcely a half hour later, the fiancés sat in separate rooms: Ranma with Genma, while Akane half-heartedly listened to Nabiki's interrogation, as she fumed. Goku was still eating.   
  
"So how did you meet the Saotomes, anyway?"  
  
Not bothering to stop eating, the young Saiyajin answered Nabiki's question, while continuously spewing all manner of foodstuffs. "Well, after grandpa died, when I was eleven, about three years ago I guess, they wandered by my cottage, looking for grandpa. They sort of got really sad that I was alone, so they decided they'd help me train. Isn't Mr. Saotome nice!"  
  
"Uh yeah. Sure Goku," the middle sister replied in a bored tone, though Goku took no notice of her manner. Turning to her younger sister, she decided to brighten the girl up. Unfortunately, Goku decided to try making Akane more cheery first. Admittedly, he was somewhat less than tactful.  
  
"I don't get why you're so mad that Ranma saw you naked. You saw him naked, right? So that should make it okay."  
  
Fearing a blow up, Nabiki decided to engage in damage control. Her younger sister did not appreciate being lectured by boys. "You were both girls. That makes it okay!"  
  
"Okay is not the word."  
  
Simultaneously, a similar discussion was occurring between Ranma and his father.   
  
"So, she's got spunk. That just makes a fiancé cuter."  
  
"Cute is not the word."   
  
End Chapter One  
  
Author Notes: Integration of the Dragonball and Ranma ½ worlds is a difficult process, which requires numerous compromises. Ranma ½ occurs on an Earth not dissimilar to our own, while Dragonball is in a world of flying cars with a geography that only vaguely resembles a world that did not contain the Americas. The simplest way to reconcile this difficulty was to simply say that Japan is about where one would expect, if you assumed the Americas did not exist. Additionally, there is a king of the world. However, he only rules over the majority of the continental landmass from Capital City. Thus, Japan and numerous other kingdoms are independent. Any other questions about how the integration occurred may be left in a review; these are the basics.  
  
Additionally, many characters from Dragonball will appear in this fanfic. I am not attempting to simply insert Goku into the Ranma ½ world. The integration is planned out in considerable depth and most of the story is plotted out already, if not written.  
  
A final warning is about pairings. Essentially, pairings are up in the air; this is to say that I know exactly who will end up together, but the vast majority of traditional pairings are being thrown out the window. Some traditional pairings will be present, but many will be entirely unorthodox, often DB characters matched with Ranma characters. If you cannot handle different pairings, please don't flame me, saying so. A new world is created; nothing will be the same (and that includes pairings).   
  
After the aforementioned final warning, one note should be added. This chapter followed the manga very closely, but from here on in we will be departing from the storyline radically. Goku's three years with the Saotomes have wrought serious changes on both father and son, which will become apparent quickly. There's an excellent reason why Ryouga was travelling with the Saotomes (again, tied to Goku) and many other encounters changed because of his presence as well (author snickers to himself about what happened in the amazon village this time). Dragonball fans will find numerous changes in the storyline, as well, resulting from Goku's absence. Matters shall swiftly become strange. You have been warned. 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.  
  
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.   
  
Voltaire (1694 - 1778)  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Three Days ago...  
  
"A dinosaur! It's on a rampage!"  
  
Terrified shouts and warnings spread across the isolated village. Formerly, one of the Ox Kingdom's outer holdings, the township had escaped the wrath of the Ox King through its remoteness: that is, the former vassals had escaped until now.  
  
"Lordy, there's a girl on that there Tyrannosaurus' back!"  
  
"Good gracious, is she commanding that monster!?!"  
  
Chi Chi, former heir to the Ox Kingdom, had brought one of her pets to keep the villagers in line. Admittedly, after the capital's fall, many of her father's holdings had attempted to break free. The majority, however, had been cowed by a simple message: pay tribute or feel the Ox King's wrath. Only a select few had attempted to guard their independence; the village of Cohrtor, on the edge of what had once been their territory was the most outspoken of these. Thus, Cohrtor's citizens would be the first to test the fruits of the Ox princess' training.  
  
As Fido -- her pet Tyrannosaurus Rex -- tore through the walls of another guard tower, Chi Chi smirked. No one could oppose the might of the Ox Kingdom! Then, a strange sight caused her smile to falter. In the center of the village, a teenager, clad in yellow and black, while carrying a large pack, stood, entirely unconcerned by her presence. In fact, he was going so far as to pretend to look at a map, in order to mock her further. How dare he!?!  
  
"Fido! Do you see that boy over there?" she pointed in the bandanna-clad youth's direction. "The boy carrying the bamboo umbrella: I want you to teach him some respect for royalty!" Obediently, the gargantuan carnivore sprinted at the insulting youth, claws extended.   
  
"Hey you there, look out!" a villager called out to the stranger.  
  
"Run y'dang fool!"  
  
The boy heard the warning and turned to face the approaching dinosaur. Calmly, he grabbed his umbrella, pointing it in the direction of the approaching monster. As the T-rex descended upon him with teeth and claws bared, the teen simply blocked each of the lizard's swipes. Then, ending the battle, he unleashed a potent strike at the creature's midsection, knocking it out with a single blow.  
  
"Hoo-eee!"  
  
"Jus' Amazin'"  
  
The villagers began to approach the stranger enthusiastically. The boy appeared, perhaps, overly serious, but he'd just saved their village from annihilation.  
  
"D'you do them martial arts?"  
  
One young, female voice, however, rose above all the rest. "Who are you and why do you oppose the will of the Ox Kingdom?"  
  
From atop her pet, Chi Chi leapt, somersaulting to land in a battle crouch before the boy. The jewel in her magical helmet glowed blood-red, as she unsheathed a katana, which she gripped in her left hand. "You had best hope I like your answer."  
  
"I'm Ryouga Hibiki, and I don't care about the Ox Kingdom. I'm looking Nerima."  
  
Holding up a map for the fourteen year-old princess, the boy said darkly, "I have business there."  
  
"Hmph! Let me see that!" Chi Chi replied snatching the piece of paper. Then her eyes widened noticeably. "This is... this is... Tokyo? That's almost a thousand miles west of here!"  
  
Retrieving his map, Ryouga bowed his head in thanks. "I see. Forgive the commotion." Then, the boy began a long walk to his destination: particularly long because he was traveling east. "Soon, Saotome, I will revenge myself upon you. For making my life Hell, Ranma, I will destroy your happiness."  
  
A villager idly asked his fellows, "D'y'all reckon the kid's lost?" They simply nodded.  
  
Chi Chi had far graver ruminations disturbing her. "To defeat Fido so effortlessly, that man must possess impossible strength! I must inform father immediately!" As the Ox princess leapt through the trees, her thoughts moved onto a different track for a moment. "He was pretty cute too. I wonder if I'll ever see him again..."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"School !?!"   
  
Goku smiled ecstatically, as he heard the news of his imminent education.  
  
"Yes, boy. I've signed you and Ranma up at Furinkan High, the local high school." Mr. Saotome was sitting in a meditative posture across from his two pupils. Each appeared surprised by his news, though the character of their moods differed significantly. Rather than cheerful, Ranma looked rather dubious.  
  
"I don't know about this, pop. I'm pretty sure Goku's too young." Then, his expression turning to a cocky smirk, the teenager added, "Besides, I don't see how no school's gonna help me with the art!"  
  
"Show some respect for your father's abilities, boy!" Genma snapped. "The school has a policy about wandering martial artists already. Any elite practitioner of the art may enter as a freshman!"  
  
The heir to the Saotome school easily ignored his father's imperious stare. However, Nabiki's additions to the conversation were not so simple to dismiss.  
  
"He's telling the truth, brother-in-law." Ranma flinched noticeably. "It's the same school me and Akane go to. We'll see you there!"  
  
The sound of hurried footsteps was heard suddenly from down the hall. "Nabiki, wait! I'll go with you!" Akane yelled to her sister.   
  
Nabiki turned an emotionless gaze on her younger sibling. "What are you talking about? Ranma is your fiancé, remember? You should walk him to school." Then, smiling devilishly, she added, "I'll even take the kid. After all, I'm sure you two love birds would love to get acquainted." The emphasis on her last word made perfectly clear the fact that getting acquainted would involve far more intimate things than words.  
  
Both Akane and Ranma flushed a dark red at Nabiki's implication, stuttering out a few vehement denials. Each then noticed the presence of the other and began trading glares, while Goku let out a loud whoop.  
  
"D'you really mean it Nabiki?" The older girl nodded, a tad befuddled. "That's awesome! You're the best, Nabiki! You're so nice and smart and cool and great and fun and-"  
  
Nabiki was starting to get embarrassed at the younger boy's enthusiasm. "Geez, kid. Just settle down. I don't see what the big deal is about walking with me."   
  
The middle Tendo daughter calmly strode out of the room and towards Furinkan High. Masking her expression, Nabiki entered "ice queen" mode, in preparation for her day. She had debts to collect and idiots to con; Nabiki needed to look intelligent, intimidating and in control. "Darn it, Goku! If you're going to hold my hand, at least try not to skip or do somersaults! I've got an image to maintain!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Nabiki." The youth stopped hopping around and started smiling like an idiot. "Is this better?"  
  
The brunette looked at her companion and let out a large sigh. The kid was smiling in that way that said, "Hey, I'm a naive kid who a drugged monkey could con." Wearily, she replied, "Sure, Goku. You look really sharp." It was going to be a long day.  
  
Meanwhile, the pair chosen to unite the Tendo and Saotome schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts were experiencing their own interpersonal difficulties. Akane and Ranma walked silently -- the former occupying the ground, while the latter strolled atop a metal fence. Thus far in their walk, the erstwhile fiancés had pointedly ignored one another; this, however, was about to change.  
  
"We're not getting married, you know!" Akane snapped.  
  
"You're tellin' me?" her fiancé replied idly.  
  
She continued, utterly ignoring Ranma: "So don't hang around me in school!"  
  
"Don't worry! I can't stand macho chicks like you!"  
  
Admittedly, Saotomes have never been known for their perceptiveness, however, even for Ranma, provocation of Akane Tendo was unusually foolhardy in his current circumstances. The teenage girl hefted the suitcase where she carried her school books, as if to throw it, and growled. That boy was going to learn a lesson about calling her names. She'd teach that jer-  
  
Pow! Approaching in an instant from behind Ranma, Mr. Saotome floored his son with a sharp blow to the head.   
  
"Pop! What're you-"  
  
"You're in no position to be choosy about women! Listen Ranma! I'll tell you only once-"  
  
A quick trip into the river silenced Genma. Leaning over the river, the younger Saotome mocked his father. "What's wrong pop? Weren't you going to say something?" Then, Ranma noticed something strange. His father's panda form wasn't attacking; in fact, it wasn't responding at all. The panda's image vanished and Ranma knew he was in trouble.  
  
Heh heh! You're wide open, boy!  
  
From behind his son, Genma plowed the sign he'd been holding up into the teenager's skull, sending the boy reeling. A following kick then proceeded to knock the youthful martial artist off the fence. The move proved an error on the father's part, however, as Ranma used the few seconds to recover and, performing a midair flip, the heir to the Saotome style landed in a ready stance.  
  
"Geez pop, that was dumb, even for you. When're ya gonna teach me that zanzoken thing anyway?"  
  
Perhaps, boy, when you learn to defend yourself like a real man!  
  
"Ah c'mon! I dodged that no sweat. You can't touch me. old man!"  
  
Maybe not, but that bucket can!  
  
At that moment, a pail of water Genma had lobbed in the air earlier landed on Ranma's head, triggering his curse and blinding him momentarily. When the heir to Saotome Anything Goes managed to lift the bucket off his head, the only remaining trace of his father was one of the panda's characteristic wooden signs lodged in the fence.  
  
Be a man, boy! Go kiss your fiancé!  
  
"Yeah! Thanks for helping me be a man, pop!" Ranma stared down at his now female form. "And as fer kissi-"  
  
"If you even try, Ranma, I'll kill you!" Akane interrupted, making her viewpoint clear.  
  
"Ah, just put a sock in it! I'm goin' ta take a bath!"  
  
Watching as her fiancé tried vainly to tighten her pants, Akane commented with considerable annoyance, "You'll be late."  
  
"Think I wanna start school as a girl?"  
  
The youngest Tendo simply replied, "But if we just pour hot water on you, you'll turn back, right?"   
  
Ranma nodded. "Sure, but-"  
  
"Good. We can just go see Dr. Tofu. His clinic is only a few blocks away." Grabbing her fiancé by the arm, Akane dragged the redhead to her family doctor's clinic.  
  
Moments later, Ranma was standing outside the clinic, in front of a sign which read Moxibustion, Acupressure, Acupuncture, as Akane went to fetch some warm water from Dr. Tofu's secretary. The heir to the Saotome school of martial arts leaned idly against the sign, sighing.   
  
"Hoooo boy. What a way to start the-"  
  
The touch of a bony hand broke Ranma from his reverie. Turning to see who had placed a hand on her shoulder, preparing for everything from Akane to perverts, the martial artist was still stunned by the specter that confronted her: a skeletal figure, quite literally. Eyes widening, the redhead leaped eight feet in the air to land upon the top of the sign. That was when she noticed a man who held the skeleton's forearms.  
  
"Oh. Pardon me." The handsome man looked at Ranma apologetically through his glasses and flashed a reassuring smile. "Nothing to worry about dear! This is just Betty, my skeleton."  
  
Crouching down to stare at the stranger, the teenager was silent, inwardly thinking, "Jeez... What sort of cook runs around with a skeleton? This town sure is weird." Ranma then hopped off Dr. Tofu's sign, landing deftly on the ground in front of the unusual man.  
  
"Ranma, here's the hot..." Akane trailed off, as she spotted, not just her fiancé, but Dr. Tofu as well. "Oh! Doctor! Um... Good morning!"   
  
As Akane bowed, Tofu mimicked her movements with his skeleton prop, Betty, replying, "Good morning to you too!" Neither noticed Ranma, who Akane inadvertently planted the doctor's kettle on, in her stupor.  
  
Curious at Akane's behavior, Ranma glanced at his fiancé. "She's blushing," the martial artist thought to himself. Then, after moving around a nearby corner and regaining his proper gender, the teenager continued his ruminations: "This is very interesting."  
  
"You haven't been by lately," the doctor remarked. "No new injuries?"  
  
"No sir. I mean... I haven't been doing anything that would..."  
  
A scant few moments later, the heirs to Anything Goes martial arts found themselves sprinting side by side to Furinkan High. From atop the fence, Ranma asked his fiancé a question: "Who was that guy?"  
  
"Dr. Tofu, the chiropractor."  
  
"Martial arts master too, isn't he?"  
  
"Huh? How could you tell?"  
  
Ranma's response was silent, but his contemplation was no less thoughtful for his quietude. "Sneaking up on me that way... He erased all sense of his presence. Obviously a competent ki wielder: better try to stay on his good side."  
  
"True, he's very good. But he doesn't look like he'd be, does he? Ever since I was little, he's taken care of my injuries."  
  
Hopping down from his place on the fence, Ranma idly inquired, "So... Isn't he a man?"  
  
"Yes. So?"  
  
"I thought you said you hate men!"  
  
A dark, brooding silence seemed to take Akane, as she contemplated Ranma's statement. Then she saw her high school, recalling the dozen of fights, since Kuno's proclamation. "That's right! I... despise..."  
  
A horde of boys poured out of the school gates, wielding boxing gloves, baseball bats, bokkens and a plethora of other weapons. "Akane Tendo's here!"  
  
"... Men!" the heir to the Tendo school screamed, glaring at the massed, teenage boys.  
  
Ranma looked on in confusion. Why were all those guys charging Akane? "Huh?"  
  
"Akane! Don't come any closer! They all want to beat you!"  
  
As Ranma leapt to the top of the school's fence, out of harm's way, Akane charged into the heart of her schoolmates' disorganized formation. Her battle cry of "Out of my way! I'm late!" could be heard all across the school yard.  
  
"Wait!" A pair of punches accompanied a potent kick, disabling a trio of foes. "No Akane!" A pair of kendoists fell to a chop and a snap kick. "I won't let another guy beat you!" The elite martial artist spun in a circle, delivering a whirlwind of kicks. "I'll do it myself!" The last voices of the horde subsided, as Akane unleashed an unrestrained fury of attacks. Ranma, simply looked on in wonderment. He could have pulled that off with no problem, and probably in half the time, but to see a girl beat up guys was antithetical to the mind set Genma had drilled into him from day one of his training. Girls were supposed to need protecting; they were weak. Why were all those guys after Akane, anyway? How'd a chick who was so macho attract so many guys? He sure as hell wasn't interested in her!  
  
Above, on the school's balcony, Nabiki was standing with Goku and her usual associates, watching the spectacle. "Your poor sister, every single day." one of the girls commented sadly.   
  
The Tendo's Saiyajin guest, to set a contrast, was jumping up and down excitedly and cheering. "Wow! That looks like fun!" Suddenly, Goku had a thought. Furrowing his brow in concentration, the pint sized powerhouse lightly pulled on Nabiki's dress, hoping to get her attention. "Nabiki, do you think Akane would mind if I trained with her in the morning too? I mean she's pretty good and..." Goku trailed off, looking up at his friend with hopeful eyes.  
  
The seventeen year-old girl simply stared incredulously at her companion for a moment. "He actually thinks that they're doing it for training! This has got to be some kind of joke!" Nabiki contemplated the knowledge she had regarding Son Goku so far and analyzed his expression. From anyone else, she'd be certain that she was being mocked, but this was 'I make rocks look perceptive' Son Goku. The kid was serious.  
  
Struggling not to laugh, while glaring at those of her schoolmates who had failed to stifle their own giggles, Nabiki gave Goku as close to a caring look as she was able, practically puking at the effort. "No, Goku. I don't think Akane would appreciate that. She already has so many sparring partners, after all."   
  
"Ah! That's no fair! Why does she get all the fun!"   
  
Even Nabiki could not control the urge to face fault at Goku's response.  
  
Meanwhile, Akane had finally finished her massacre of the school's male population and was breathing heavily. A few droplets of sweat dripped down her face, as she tried to rearrange her long, black hair. "For Pete's sake! Every morning! What a drag!"  
  
"Truly. Such a boorish lot." An aristocratic voice drew both Ranma and Akane's attention, causing them to focus on its point of origination: a handsome man in kendo garb with a rose pressed to his lips and a bokken in his right hand.  
  
"Evidently, each of them intends to ask you out Akane... on the dawn that he finally defeats you."  
  
"Oh. Upperclassman. Good morning." Akane sighed, her uninterest in the new arrival's antics palpable.  
  
"And now... Akane Tendo..." the young man flipped his rose into Akane's open hand. "...might you fight with me?"   
  
Finishing his question, the kendoist bared his bokken, as thunder rumbled ominously in the background. The youngest Tendo simply sweat dropped, her annoyance growing.  
  
Ranma leapt down to his fiancé's side from the fence, landing beside her. "Man. You're popular, aren't you?"  
  
"Stay out of the way. You'll get hurt."  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
Suddenly, Akane's challenger pointed his bokken at Ranma, as another crash of thunder resounded throughout the school yard.   
  
"You there! You are being quite familiar with Akane!"  
  
"Hm?" Ranma looked over to his intended. "Tell him Akane. Akane?"  
  
"Tell him what?" The youngest Tendo pointedly ignored Ranma, staring off into the sky in a haughty fashion.  
  
"Who are you boor?" the bokken wielding teenager yelled. "Ah! But it is the custom to give one's own name first! Fine hen! Mine I shall give!"  
  
"Huh?" Ranma looked back to his challenger. Then gesturing with his hand, while sweat dropping at his foe's melodrama, the heir to the Saotome school replied, "If you want..."  
  
"My name... is Upperclassman Kuno. Junior Group E. Captain of the kendo club. Undefeated new star of the high school fencing world. But my peers call me... the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" A blaze of lightning flashed through the sky behind Kuno, momentarily brightening the pitch black sky.  
  
"Wow! What a cool name!" Goku enthused.  
  
Beside him, the other girls observing the confrontation were somewhat more flippant; they were used to Kuno's dramatic speeches and quirky names.  
  
"Blue Thunder?"  
  
"I thought he was calling himself the Shooting Star."  
  
"It's news to me."  
  
Another idea striking, Goku, the tailed youth hopped down from the balcony effortlessly, landing beside Kuno. Mirroring the Upperclassman's pose, the younger martial artist declared, "I am the Orange Thunder of Furinkan High!" Lightning flashed behind him, as well, setting an intimidating tone to the declaration, which was abruptly ruined, as Goku began somersaulting and back flipping all over the place with a big smile. "Wow! I sounded so cool!"  
  
Ranma, Akane and Kuno all developed large sweat drops from the young Saiyajin's antics, while Nabiki sighed wearily; The Blue Thunder was the first to recover.  
  
"You dare to mock Tatewaki Kuno, knave!"  
  
"Yipee! Yee hah! I'm the Orange Thunder! Yay!" Goku continued to ignore his new adversary.  
  
"Fine then, coward! Have at thee!"  
  
The blade of the Blue Thunder blazed towards Goku, as Kuno charged. Furinkan's premier kendoist snapped his weapon towards his foes head in a downward blow known to obliterate concrete; Goku dodged with a back flip at the last possible moment.   
  
"Wow! You're pretty good! D'you wanna spar?"  
  
Smirking, as he crouched downwards, Tatewaki prepared a second strike. "To spar is not my desire, foul one. I wish your utter defeat!"  
  
Lightning continued to flash all around the school yard turned battle ground, the entire school arranging itself to view the coming combat.   
  
"Hey somebody's taking on Kuno!"  
  
"That little runt? Kuno'll eat him alive!"  
  
Raising his bokken for an attack, Kuno yelled, "Now it ends!"  
  
Moving forward in a blur of motion, Tatewaki fired his weapon towards Goku. The Saiyajin momentarily considered dodging, but decided to test his foe's strength instead. In reply, the Anything Goes student unleashed his full strength, meeting the blade with his fist.  
  
"Hyaaah!"  
  
Fist and blade met with a crash, momentarily overshadowing even the nearby thunder. As both combatants pushed at one another desperately, the battle ended in a draw... almost. A sharp snap marked the end of Kuno's bokken, as the wooden blade was broken into pieces by the force of the combat.  
  
Sweating and breathing raggedly, Kuno eyed the pieces of his bokken, then angrily glared at his opponent. The boy was not even winded from their battle, smiling without care and hopping up and down in anticipation on his... tail!?!"  
  
"Monster! Spawn of the darkest Hells, you challenge me with your unholy powers and those of your master, this man." Kuno pointed at Ranma with a splinter of his bokken.  
  
"Hey! Whaddya blamin' me for?" Ranma asked angrily.  
  
"Do not attempt to fool me, for I see clearly now! Akane has long rejected my advances because of your foul sorceries! Now hoping to defeat me, you summon this hell spawn in human form! Do not fear, Akane Tendo! I will free you from your torment!" Unsheathing another bokken, Kuno this time assaulted Ranma. "I must finish you quickly, so that you cannot summon your demonic ally! Strike, strike, strike!"  
  
A veritable swarm of blows flew towards Ranma from Kuno's bokken. Dodging with effort, as a result of his back pack slowing him down, the Anything Goes practitioner thought to himself, "Darn, if it wasn't for this back pack, I could take him no sweat, but with it... I'm going to have to try something tricky. I know! It's risky, but, if it works, he's done."  
  
Kuno's blows did not slacken. The kendoist had trained so that he could continue such torrid movements as those involved in his premier technique for many minutes. "I have you!" Kuno declared. Then, his opponent began to grow.  
  
"Kuno!" a massive head of Ranma declared. "You can't win!"  
  
If Tatewaki had continued his assault, he may have yet emerged victorious. Expanding one's battle aura to create projections was a tiring skill and one Ranma had never attempted successfully before. A few strong blows might have shaken his concentration enough to dispel the illusion. However, the proportions of Ranma's head expanded so readily that Kuno froze in terror. His fear was so great that he never even noticed the blurred touches on his forehead, or the panda who bowled him over, as rain began to pour down upon the school yard. The panda wrapped two paws against both Ranma and Goku before anyone could see the changes wrought on their bodies and headed for the gym's equipment shed.  
  
Those on the balcony were stunned by the wild animal's prowess. "Man, that panda's good!"  
  
Akane simply stared at Mr. Saotome's departure and then followed him. That move of Ranma's was something she'd only heard of in old legends. Between that and the move Mr. Saotome had used to trick his son in their earlier battle, it was no wonder she had been defeated. The two of them and Goku were like something out of a manga.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno lay prone on the ground, mumbling about the proofs of sorcery and monsters, or some such, but no one paid him any heed; incomprehensible, semiconscious rants were ordinary for Furinkan's premier kendoist.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Dang it!" Ranma cursed. As his father, in panda form, stood by, watching, the heir to the Saotome style began wringing the water out of her pants; Goku did the same beside her. "I can't believe that took so long. If it wasn't for that dumb knapsack and the rain..."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Akane interrupted, climbing through the shed's window.  
  
"Whaddya mean?"  
  
The youngest of the Tendo daughters pointed to Ranma's clothes. "Look there."  
  
Ranma did so. "Huh! What? He tore my shirt to shreds, but he didn't even touch me!" Mr. Saotome poured hot water on Ranma, returning him to his male form.  
  
"If any of those strikes had hit, you'd be short a few body parts! You were lucky you had that weird technique to use on him!"  
  
Ranma looked up to his fiancé idly. "Don't be ridiculous! That move almost lost me the fight!"  
  
True boy, Genma interjected with a sign. You were just lucky!  
  
"Hmph! Well at least I got one good shot in, and it was a doozy."  
  
"Liar! You never hit him at all!"  
  
"Jeez! Just because you're too slow to see my moves doesn't mean you have to call me a liar you macho chick!"  
  
"Too slow! Hmph!" Akane stormed off to class, leaving her fiancé and house guest to find their class alone. The problem was that they had no idea where to find their room.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"I'm not surprised that you don't remember being touched. That thing Ranma did with his head was fairly frightening. He probably scared you witless."  
  
Kuno did not even deign to look at Nabiki, preferring to observe his visage in a hand held mirror. A grimace was present in his expression, resulting from the word 'bufoon' clearly spelt on his forehead. "So the sorceror leaves his mark! But, verily, the legions of Hell are illiterate. Buffoon is spelt in this fashion!"  
  
As Kuno wrote boofun on the chalkboard, Nabiki printed the correct spelling under the kendoist's own misspelling. "Nope! This is how you spell it!"  
  
"I despise you, Nabiki Tendo!"  
  
"I'm so glad."  
  
Abruptly, a ruckus could be heard at the classroom's door. "I don't know, Goku. I can't see Akane anywhere. Hey! Isn't that Kuno over there. He's not supposed to be in our class!"  
  
Hearing his name, the champion kendoist turned, catching sight of Ranma and Goku. "So sorceror, you return for a second combat! Know that I will not be as easy on you as before!"  
  
"Easy, buddy! You're lucky I went so easy on you!"  
  
"Do not jest, sorceror. I have learned your name, Ranma Saotome, from the mercenary, Nabiki Tendo. I have also learned your purpose." Raising his bokken, in preparation for battle, Kuno continued, "I will never permit your engagement to Akane!"  
  
The entire room went silent. Then whispers began, which grew to mutterings and, finally, a clamor heard throughout the entirety of the school:   
  
"Engagement?"   
  
"I thought Akane hated boys!"   
  
"Only one day in Nerima, and he's already got Akane. Man, does that guy ever work fast!"   
  
"How romantic!"  
  
"You think he'll tell us what she's like in bed?"  
  
"Man, I hope so."  
  
Ranma had switched from combat mode to denial. "No, no! It ain't nothin' like that! Our parents decided! We never-"  
  
"And now, sorceror, I visit upon you the full might of Tatewaki Kuno!"  
  
Ranma fled. "This ain't no place to fight! Follow me!"  
  
"That I shall!"  
  
The pair of martial artists sprinted down the hallways of Furinkan High. Closely following them came Son Goku, eager to watch the match and, after him, half the school was running. Among these students was one very angry Akane Tendo.  
  
"How dare he!?! I knew that idiot was a pervert! Telling the whole school that we've had twenty kids! Well, I'll teach him!"  
  
Others possessed less violent and more excited viewpoints.  
  
"This is great!"  
  
"I hear the winner gets Akane!"  
  
A teacher yelled at the students, reminding them that running was not permitted in the halls. The aforementioned educator was entirely ignored.  
  
Leaping out a window, Ranma yelled back to Kuno, "Let's take this outside. Follow me!"  
  
Brandishing his bokken, Tatewaki jumped right after the Anything Goes martial artist, closely followed by Goku. "Fear not!"  
  
A nearby teacher screamed, "Hey! This is the third floor!"  
  
As Kuno floundered in the air, Ranma replied easily, "No sweat I'm-" Then he saw the giant swimming pool below him.  
  
"You idiot!" Akane said.  
  
Beside her, Akane's classmates, Hiroshi and Daisuke, commented on the situation as well.  
  
"Boy. Lucky there's a pool there."  
  
"Yeah. Lucky."  
  
"Lucky he says!" Ranma yelled in frustration, as he struck the pool, triggering his change.  
  
Kuno was the first to surface. Face down, he was lying in the pool, comatose.  
  
"But what happened to the other two?"  
  
Under the water, 'the other two' were swimming away desperately, making sure to remain underwater. Unfortunately, for his chances of escape, Ranma noticed Kuno's apparently drowned body above him. "As much as I don't like the guy, he doesn't deserve to drown," Saotome thought to himself, as he began dragging Kuno towards the edge of the pool. That was when matters began to spiral out of control; Tatewaki Kuno woke up.  
  
"Ranma Saotome! I fight on!" The Blue Thunder declared, wrapping his arms around Ranma's chest.  
  
"Let... me... go!"  
  
Suddenly, Kuno found his hand clutching something that no man should have. Even if Saotome was a dark sorceror, such a bountiful breast could not belong to him. He was quite certainly male. The bokken master's discovery stunned him momentarily, giving Ranma just enough leverage to wrap her arms around his head.  
  
Releasing a cry of "Pervert!" Ranma bashed the kendoist into the pool deck, using the momentum from the impact to catapult his female form out of sight before anyone could get a clear look at her. As she somersaulted out of the yard, however, her appearance did not escape the students' notice entirely.   
  
"Ranma's body... didn't it look a little smaller all around?"  
  
"Must've been some sort of illusion."  
  
None of her schoolmates noticed Akane, as the female martial artist sprinted down the stairs. Grabbing a kettle on her way out, Akane reflected that Ranma might be a jerk and pervert, but he was at least an honorable jerk and pervert: his attempt to save Kuno had proved that.   
  
Tatewaki Kuno was slowly getting up from the pool deck, as Akane ran by. He would have liked to follow her, but, at the moment, he was still straightening out his thoughts. He had certainly felt a girl, not Saotome. Where then had the dark wizard gone? That was when the Blue Thunder noticed Goku slowly climbing out of the pool. The water had flattened the boy's hair and his tail was no longer present, but he was still recognizable. Perhaps, if he could not smite the sorceror himself, he could still destroy Saotome's familiar.  
  
Pulling out his third bokken for that day, Kuno challenged Goku: "So devil spawn, thine keeper hast fled. Now thou art helpless against the might of Kuno."  
  
The elite kendoist charged and decided to start off with his strongest attack -- the one even Saotome had barely escaped -- this time. "Strike, strike, strike!" The flurry of blows penetrated the Anything Goes practitioner's hastily prepared defenses, driving him against the school wall, which he crashed through, finding himself in a classroom.  
  
Now, something should be understood about Son Goku. Under any normal circumstances, the carefree Saiyajin is more than a match for Kuno; he rivals Ranma's prowess despite only three years of real training in the Anything Goes style. The preadolescent picks up techniques at a phenomenal rate, is barely bruised by gun shots and has ki power beyond what should be possible at the age of fourteen.   
  
However, at Jusenkyo, Son Goku waded into the Spring of Drowned Man. Originally, the Saotomes and Ryouga were relieved at this apparent stroke of luck, but they quickly discovered something strange about Goku's cursed form. Whereas he should have been essentially unaffected, the ordinarily tailed martial artist lost all his irregularities: his hair became normal, his tail disappeared, his eyes changed to a light blue hue and, worst of all, his martial arts abilities were nearly halved. Eventually, Goku had learned to walk without his tail, but the forty percent of his ki reserves that vanished proved impossible to retain in cursed form. Ultimately, everyone agreed that the boy had perhaps fallen into the Spring of Drowned perfectly ordinary man, or something of that sort and declared their youngest member lucky to get off with such an unexceptional curse. He remained strong enough to devastate even a first or second Dan level martial artist, which was generally good enough. In fact, he was just about as strong as Tatewaki Kuno in this form, if just a little bit less technically proficient.  
  
Unfortunately, when fighting Tatewaki Kuno, therefore, Goku was at a slight disadvantage. All else being equal, the kendo master should defeat his foe, particularly after such a devastating opening blow. Like Ranma, Goku thrived on impossible battles. Dropping into a stance, the Anything Goes practitioner grinned widely. This would be fun!  
  
Meanwhile, Ranma Saotome was, for the second time that day, wringing water out of her pants. Sitting on one of the higher tree branches in the highest tree in Furinkan High's school yard, the boy-turned-girl was scowling. "What a pervert. I mean, he didn't have to squeeze that hard! Feh! Well I guess now he knows about me."  
  
"You fool!" Akane stood below the tree in her school uniform, both hands behind her back.  
  
"Akane? What-"  
  
"Just how dumb can you be? I mean, jumping into a pool of your own free will!"  
  
"Shut up, you!" Ranma replied, sticking out his tongue at Akane. If she had just come here to insult her, Ranma would be happy to reciprocate. "Nyah! Nyah!"  
  
"Hmph!" Akane reached behind her and held out a steaming kettle. "Oh well. Then I guess you won't mid if I throw this hot water away."  
  
"No! Bring it here, Akane!"  
  
The sound of footsteps slogging through the drenched undergrowth could be hear approaching. Strangely, the steps were not coming from the school, but moving towards the school grounds. Accompanying the footsteps came an obviously depressed rant. "Curse you, Ranma! How dare you purposely give me the wrong directions!?! When I find you..."  
  
From behind a particularly large tree, the ranting figure emerged. Possessing clearly feminine curves and long, lush, blonde hair, the young woman was extremely beautiful. However, the boyish, yellow and black striped clothes and scowl on her face marred otherwise lovely features. Her constant ranting was not analogous to the traditional image of the perfect Japanese woman either.  
  
Ranma immediately recognized his fellow Anything Goes student, even in her girl form. "Hey, Ryouga! How ya doin'?"  
  
The eternally lost girl looked around, searching for the source of the voice and drew a blank. There was a fairly pretty girl near him, but she certainly wasn't Ranma. Eventually, the bandanna-clad girl sighed and began walking away again. "Darn you, Saotome! Now I'm even hearing your voice in my head! Truly Ranma, you have made my life Hell!"  
  
Throughout the blonde haired girl's rant, Akane had been getting progressively more frustrated with Ranma. Her fiancé had obviously done something horrible to this young woman for her to follow the pigtailed martial artist so far. Most likely, he'd committed some horrible perversion or theft and, rather than making it up to the girl, Ranma planned on just hiding out in a tree! That coward!  
  
"You sullied my honor, Saotome! What you put my mind and body through, no one deserves! When I find you, Ranma, your time will have come!"  
  
For Akane Tendo, those last words sealed her fiancé's fate. From the horrible trials this woman described, it was beginning to sound like Ranma had done the unthinkable, taking advantage of the poor, defenseless girl.  
  
Unsure whether the new arrival knew about Ranma's girl form, Akane threw her fiancé the kettle she'd been holding. Then, after he poured the boiling water on, now, himself, she pointed to the tree branch and yelled, "Look! It's Ranma Saotome!"  
  
In the briefest of instants, Ryouga's head snapped towards the branch where Ranma was standing. A dark smile lit up his face. "So that's where you're hiding, Ranma! Prepare to die!"  
  
Springing to twenty feet in a single bound, Ryouga landed beside Ranma on the branch. "Jeez, Ryouga! What's your problem," the pigtailed martial artist asked with a groan.  
  
"My problem, Saotome, is that you're still alive!" Admittedly, such threats were far more intimidating when you weren't insufferably cute and six inches shorter than you opponent, but it's the thought that counts. "Take this!"  
  
In a blur of motion, Ryouga whipped out her umbrella, stabbing towards her opponent viciously. Ranma barely managed to dodge. When both of them were in male form, Ryouga was stronger than Ranma and had more endurance, but the heir to Anything Goes always possessed more speed. He had become accustomed to this speed advantage. The problem was that, while Ryouga's girl form was significantly weaker than he was naturally, the lost boy's speed was cranked up to a level Ranma couldn't equal. The pigtailed martial artist was unused to fighting with a speed disadvantage. The reversal of their relative abilities might help him, but he could just as easily make a stupid error. If he wanted victory, Ranma needed his girl form back.   
  
"Catch ya later, Ryouga," Ranma cheekily remarked, leaping over Hibiki's head and towards the school.  
  
"Darn you, Ranma! You won't escape so easily!" Ryouga spun around and gave chase, making certain that his rival was in sight at all times.  
  
As the duo approached the school, Ranma suddenly catapulted further ahead of his pursuit, blurring at speeds beyond normal vision to reach the swimming pool. He touched cold water and felt the change take place. Finally, he straightened, staring at his opponent.  
  
That was exactly the moment when Goku crashed through the wall a second time, landing outside, and high on bliss from the great fight he was having. "This is awesome!" The Saiyajin turned human crashed into Ryouga, knocking the older girl over.   
  
"Hey, Goku! Can you get out of the way? I need to teach Ranma a lesson about lying!"  
  
Hopping off of his friend, Goku replied, "Sure!"  
  
Then Kuno reappeared, climbing through the hole in the wall Goku's body had just made. "Your time appears to be at an end, devil spawn, for none can defeat the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"  
  
All around the quartet of fighters, as well as the newly arrived Akane, a crowd was forming. The student body loved martial arts battles! A five way battle would be awesome and the two new chicks were seriously cute.  
  
"Ranma! It is time we settled this!" Ryouga yelled, pulling a handful of bandannas off her head. "Nothing will stop me from destroying your happiness in this man to man fight!"  
  
From the front of the crowd both Hiroshi and Daisuke blinked in confusion.  
  
"Hey, Hiroshi, doesn't a man to man fight normally involve men."  
  
"Hmmmm... a good point, Daisuke, my friend. They may be cross dressers, but their assets are quite obvious," Hiroshi replied, staring at the chests of the two girls.  
  
"I suppose we should blame the loss of traditional male and female roles for their gender confusion."  
  
"Yes, Daisuke, my friend, truly such confusions are a sad thing, particularly in such beautiful girls."  
  
"Well said, Hiroshi."  
  
"Thank you, Daisuke."  
  
The pair's eyes riveted on the ensuing battle once more. Tensions were reaching the breaking point. The battle could not be delayed for long. From the back of the crowd, Genma, in panda form, waved a large, wooden sign. Hurry up, boy! It's almost lunch!  
  
The battle was joined.  
  
End Chapter Two  
  
Author Notes: That was definitely a cliffhanger. I must say that this chapter was a joy to write. There are two things in this chapter which should probably be explained. Firstly, Ryouga arriving early resulted from him taking a different path to Furinkan High. He stayed with the Saotomes until he got lost and, thus, ended up arriving at a different time. Ryouga tends to essentially appear at random, so this shouldn't be a particularly surprising entrance. Secondly, Ranma, Genma and Ryouga have an expanded bag of tricks and are stronger than when they were initially shown in the manga. Essentially, this results from traveling with Goku, where they were forced to improve faster, in order to keep up with Goku and the enemies Goku attracted. Anyway, thanks for reading this chapter. I hope you've had as much fun reading it as I did writing the thing. 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.  
  
Never explain -- your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.   
  
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"Die Saotome!" Ryouga cried, unleashing a storm of bandannas, as he charged.  
  
"Feel the wrath of the Blue Thunder, demon!" Kuno shouted, sprinting towards Goku.  
  
"Ranma, what sort of perverted thing did you do to her!?!" Akane screamed, wielding one of the gym's hockey sticks like a scythe.  
  
In the center of the courtyard, Ranma and Goku stood back to back, preparing to face their opponents. Each stood in an identical stance, but their expressions were radically different.  
  
"Wow! This is going to be great!" the younger fighter enthused.  
  
Ranma, unlike his companion, knew exactly how much trouble the two of them were in. Ryouga, Kuno and Akane were out for blood and Goku was in cursed form. Victory would require a miracle. Slowly, Saotome's expression morphed to a smirk. Miracles were Ranma's stock in trade.  
  
Leaping over the spinning bandannas, Ranma decided to meet his opponent in the middle. A blurred umbrella strike blazed towards the pigtailed martial artist's stomach. He spun out of the attacks path, replying with a verbal riposte: "C'mon Ryouga! What sorta man are ya doin' girly attacks like that?"  
  
"Damn you, Saotome!" Grabbing another of his seemingly limitless supply of bandannas, the fanged martial artist tried for a repeat of the trick he'd pulled at Jusenkyo, attempting to wrap one of his bandannas around his long time rival's wrist.  
  
"Feh! You think I'll fall for that again!" Moving at speeds exceeding normal human vision, Ranma's leg shot forward in a kick, knocking the weapon from Ryouga's hand. Then, the pigtailed fighter back flipped out of range of any counters his opponent might attempt. "Jeez, Ryouga! Whaddya been doin' the past week? A parked car coulda dodged that!"  
  
That was when Akane finally entered the fray. "Take this, you pervert!" The hockey stick descended towards his head. Once again, Ranma dodged effortlessly.  
  
"Get outta here, Akane! This is a man to man fight!"  
  
From the crowd, Hiroshi remarked, "Again with the gender confusion. How sad, in such beautiful girls."  
  
"What do you mean man to man!?! She's a girl!"  
  
"No, you idiot! He's cursed, just like me!"  
  
Akane's eyes widened momentarily. "What you mean he's really a-"  
  
"I am nothing like you, Saotome!"  
  
Before he could prepare his defenses, a massive uppercut plowed into him, sending him flying back a dozen feet. Ryouga followed. "I'm going to destroy your happiness! Now you see the fruits of my training! Eight Hands Attack!"  
  
Ryouga's arms blurred to the point that, by all appearances he had four times his original complement of arms. Then, a seemingly infinite barrage of blows began to rain down upon Ranma. Barely capable of dodging, the heir to Anything Goes was being pushed to his limits by his Hibiki's new technique. "Darn it! This has got to have some sort of weakness! Wait! All he's doing is pulling off one of the illusion things pop likes to use. So all I've got to do is focus and..."   
  
Ranma's arms shot forward, grabbing the only two real limbs. "Nice try, Ryouga, but there's no way some wimpy technique like that's gonna stop me!"  
  
"Wimpy! How dare you!?! For that, Ranma, I'll kill you!"  
  
"Nope! Ya already said yer killin' me fer a buncha other stuff! So, what's yer problem, anyway?"  
  
"How dare you pretend you don't know!?! Lying to me about how to swim to Japan, you scum!"  
  
Ranma blinked owlishly for a moment and then remembered to whom he was talking. "Um, Ryouga. I told you to swim straight across the sea to the big island."  
  
"I know! Those cursed lies had me swimming all the way around the world!"  
  
"Whaddya mean? How could you miss Japan? It's huge!" Exactly, but you didn't tell me which island, so I ended up swimming for days, and then the dinosaur attacked!"  
  
"Hey you can't blame me fer yer own bad sense of direction!"  
  
"I'm not! I'm blaming you for lying!"  
  
"Ah jeez! I guess there's only one way to end this."   
  
In a blaze of ki, Ranma's battle aura sprung to life, wreathing his body in blue fire. "I'm gonna have ta hit him hard and fast before he can charge up." Catching Ryouga off guard, the pigtailed martial artist landed a pair of kicks and a pressure point strike, temporarily stunning his opponent. Then he went all out. "Kyaaaah!" For an instant, his battle aura flared to twice its original size, then shrank down to nothing, as the heir to Anything Goes collapsed to his knees, breathing heavily. "I...I... won."  
  
In front of him, the lost boy turned girl collapsed bonelessly to the ground. Akane walked towards him and turned the apparently cursed individual over. Her entire body was covered with blows and burns, each having impacted a vulnerable spot.  
  
"I... I... didn't even see him move."  
  
As one combat ended, the second was just going into extra innings.  
  
"Knave! Stand your ground!"  
  
"Nope! Nyaa! Nyaa!"  
  
Goku leaped all across the battleground like an out of control bouncy ball, the entire time making faces at his opponent. The youth had stuck his tongue out and blown numerous rasberries at the kendo master and he was just getting started.   
  
"Ha ha! Too slow!" Goku grinned cheerily, as he dodged under a bokken strike and then leaped over the next. "Let's go see how Nabiki's doing!"   
  
Abruptly, the middle Tendo sister found herself in the middle of the battlefield, as Goku leaped over to her side. "So whaddya think, Nabiki? Good fight, huh?"  
  
As Kuno charged, Furinkan's ice queen abruptly found herself lifted off her feet. "Let's go have some fun!" That said, Son Goku jumped to the school's roof, carrying his new friend.   
  
Nabiki's brain was just beginning to process the events of the last few seconds. Goku had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, grabbed her and jumped a full story up to land on the gym's roof. "Son Goku, what are you doing!?!"  
  
"Huh?" the fourteen year old replied, blinking at her naively. "What's wrong Nabiki?"  
  
"What's wrong? What's wrong!?! You just jumped up to the roof with me, you idiot! How the heck am I supposed to get down!?!"  
  
"Oh! Is that it? I thought it was something serious." Taking the much older girl in his arms again, Goku dropped down from the roof, planting his feet firmly on Kuno's head; the kendoist had spent the last minute or so ranting about cowardly demons or some such.  
  
"Is this better, Nabiki?"  
  
Noticing that she was now, literally, at the epicenter of the conflict, the normally most controlled student in Furinkan screamed, "No! Put me on the ground now!"  
  
Finally, Kuno noticed the weight of the two individuals standing on his head. "So you return, monster, to face the wrath of Tatewaki Kuno! Unhand the maiden and get off my head, so that I may smite thee in honorable combat!"  
  
"Um, Nabiki, do you know what he just said?"  
  
"Somehow, I think he wants you to remove your feet from his head, Goku," Nabiki replied dryly. "To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind that either!"  
  
Still oblivious to his friend's hostile tone, Goku jumped off Kuno's head, placing Nabiki firmly on the ground. "I guess I'd better finish him now, right?" The older girl nodded. "Okay, then. Time to get serious!" The clueless smile that adorned the Anything Goes fighter's face stole any threat from the pronouncement.  
  
Sprinting into the boy's change room, Goku turned on the showers and regained the bulk of his power. When he returned, the tail was back and his smile had morphed into a confident smirk. Kuno didn't even manage to prepare his defenses before the Saiyajin had penetrated his guard.  
  
"Heeyah!" A potent chop struck the kendoist in the stomach. Gurgling for a moment, the bokken master fell to the ground. However, as Goku began to walk away from his fallen foe, a foreboding voice came from behind him.  
  
"I... fight on."  
  
Stunned that his strike had not ended the battle, the tailed fighter turned to look at his opponent, new respect in his eyes. Then he saw Kuno: the kendoist was still lying on the ground, motionless.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Nabiki placed a friendly hand on his shoulder. "Oh. Don't worry about Kuno-baby. He has a habit of talking while unconscious."  
  
Goku simply grinned in response, turning to Nabiki. "Wow! School was just as much fun as I thought. Today was great!" He began to amiably stroll towards the school gates.  
  
"You know, Goku, school isn't quite over yet."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Tatewaki Kuno stood solemnly in the gardens of the Kuno residence.   
  
"Truly, Saotome's dark magics are formidable. His own prowess is not sufficient to equal me, but the creature he's summoned also possesses great power. If both were to attack me at once, I might become slightly pressed." One should note that Kuno's have a notably selective memory. The aforementioned trait is well documented in all members of the family. They have an innate tendency to twist reality to fit their preconceptions and, as every Kuno in the past five centuries has had instilled in him or her, at a young age, the belief in the Kuno family's superiority, this selective memory often causes problems in their determination of the results of lost battles. "Verily, the Hell spawn are a challenge for even one such as myself. I see only one alternative. I must-"  
  
"Brother dear, is there any reason why you're talking to my roses?"  
  
"Silence, my twisted sister! Do not disturb the ruminations of Tatewaki Kuno!"  
  
"OHOHOHOHO! Talking to yourself again, brother dear? Well, I'd best be off then. One insane child is enough for this family!"  
  
She was probably correct, in that the Kuno's did not really need to offspring with a less than firm grip on reality. Unfortunately, two such children had been born.  
  
"Hmph! Now where was I? Ah yes! I have no choice but to seek further training! Sasuke! Come forth!"  
  
From the top of the estate's boundary wall, a short, black figure somersaulted into view. "Master Kuno! I come to serve!"  
  
"Excellent, loyal Sasuke! What I need of you is a teacher of the sword; a man of great prowess!"  
  
"But truly, great lord, none possess greater skill than your own with the blade in all of Japan!"  
  
"You speak truly, Sasuke, but still a teacher I require. I send you, loyal ninja, to find me a master greater than I somewhere, so that I may prepare for my next, great ordeal. Make haste, Sasuke!"  
  
"Yes, lord!"  
  
The diminutive ninja bounded out of Kuno's sight swiftly, hopping across the rooftops. Fortunately, a ronin of great skill, formerly captain of the king of the world's guard, was said to be in Tokyo currently. Known for his great skill, the powerful warrior would prove perfect for Lord Kuno. His name was Yajirobe.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Why not, Ranma!?!"  
  
"I don't fight girls, Akane: not even tomboys like you."  
  
Something worth explaining about the Saotome line is that they have a tendency to lead with their mouths, not their brains. The elder Saotome male shows this trait most prominently, but, as one might expect, his son is not immune to Genma's influence. The seppuku contract was the worst of Genma's verbal blunders and, fortunately for Ranma, the pigtailed martial artist was not prone to miscues of that severity. However, the heir to the Saotome school of martial arts still tended to speak more freely than he really should, particularly when around his short-tempered fiancé.  
  
Fortunately for Ranma, on this particular occasion, Akane had a goal which could not be accomplished by knocking her fiancé into lower Earth orbit. Put simply, the youngest Tendo sister had been seriously impressed by Ranma's abilities throughout the day. In fact, she had been so impressed that she was willing to learn from him -- a boy --, if that would allow her to master even some of his skills. Therefore, rather than yelling or punching Ranma, the female Anything Goes student simply gritted her teeth and continued her pleading.  
  
"Please, Ranma! I really want to learn how to do some of that stuff!"  
  
"Jeez! Are you deaf, on top of being uncute and sexless? I said I don't fight girls."  
  
Admittedly, Ranma was pushing the limits of his fiancé's patience. Even the most understanding and caring significant other would be becoming annoyed at the aquatransexual's remarks by this point. Akane, a self-proclaimed boy hater, was not that person. Nonetheless, she wanted to at least spar with the younger Saotome very badly and was willing to give him one more chance before he ended up punted a few miles away.  
  
"Why are you being so sexist, Ranma? Girls can be just as good at martial arts as guys you know!"  
  
"What're you babblin' about? Everyone knows girls ain't good for nothin' 'cept cookin', cleanin' and havin' kids! That's why guys are supposed ta protect them! Man, I bet you couldn't even touch me!"  
  
After Ranma's lecture about 'the way things are,' Akane's patience had finally reached the breaking point. He was acting like a sexist jerk! There was no way she was letting that-that idiot get away with saying things like that! She'd teach him a lesson! She would beat him so hard he'd... Wait. No. She could do even better than that.  
  
Smiling in an extremely predatory fashion, Akane moved so that she could look Ranma in the eye. "Fine, then. Prove it! Unless you're afraid..."  
  
"I ain't afraid o' nothin'!"  
  
"Good! Then we'll just have a little sparring session, but, if I hit you, you'll have to teach me anything I want to know AND you'll have to apologize for being such a sexist jerk!"  
  
Finally, the wheels were starting to spin in Ranma's head. He'd obviously been tricked by the sexless tomboy, but there was no way he was admitting that he'd lost. Ranma Saotome didn't lose! Never! There was no way he was admitting that uncute chick had outsmarted him!  
  
"Deal!" Ranma replied, meeting his fiancé's cocky smirk with his own. "There ain't no way some slow gorilla chick'll hit me! I'll take ya on in the dojo, right now!"  
  
Only a few moments later, the fiancés found themselves facing each other for the second time in as many days in the center of the Tendo Dojo.  
  
"Ready to get stomped, you sexist jerk?"  
  
"Feh! Akane, you don't got a chance 'gainst someone like me!"  
  
Moving into a basic kempo stance, the female martial artist smirked. "Hmph! Better get ready to eat your words, Ranma. I'm coming!"  
  
"No, wait." Ranma held up a single finger, indicating he needed a moment to prepare. "I forgot to get something." Picking up a small magazine at his feet, Ranma opened its pages and began to read. On the magazine's cover was printed the words Real Martial Arts for Real Martial Artists! "Okay, Akane," the pigtailed boy announced, still not looking up from his magazine. "I guess I'm ready now."  
  
Seeing red, the raven haired girl charged furiously. "How dare you not take me seriously, you jerk!?!"  
  
Blazing forward, a faint, crimson aura flaring around her, Akane swung at Ranma... and swung... and swung... and there were a couple of kicks too, but then she swung... and swung; Hopefully, by this point, you get the idea. No matter how swift or powerful her attacks were, though, not one came within six inches of Ranma.   
  
For an hour the two sparred back and forth, or, more accurately, Ranma effortlessly dodged Akane's blows, while reading his magazine. Occasionally, he would comment on blows that were particularly far afield, remarking that they showed just how much of a tomboy she was or explaining that, if she wasn't built like a brick, she might be fast enough to hit him. Eventually, an hour of Akane desperately attempting to strike her fiancé passed.  
  
"So, Akane, ready to admit I was right?" Ranma asked, having picked up a new book since the beginning of their spar; this one was titled The Tortoise and The Hare.  
  
Sweating and breathing heavily, Akane replied, "No... way. I'll never lose to a jerk like you."  
  
Suddenly, a voice boomed from the back of the dojo, "Show some respect for your fiancé, boy!"  
  
At the door of the training room, outlined by the pitch black night sky, stood Genma Saotome. Clad in the purest white, except for a few splotches of mud, Ranma's father cast a look of self-righteous indignation upon his son. "Truly, boy, beating up on defenseless women is very unmanly."  
  
"And, a'course, takin' me ta Jusenkyo made me real manly, right pop?"  
  
"Show some respect for you father, boy: I who have labored so mightily to feed and clothe you, boy. You should be grateful!"  
  
Getting sick of his father's condescending tone, Ranma turned away from Akane, ready to tell his old man what was what. "Whaddya mean labored, pop? You just stole all that stuff! And how 'bout the Nekoken? That one o' those things I should be grateful for, pop?"  
  
Once again, the Saotomes were seriously annoying Akane. Not only had Mr. Saotome called her a helpless little girl, but Ranma -- who had spent the past hour insulting her -- had completely turned his back on her. That arrogant jerk! She'd show him! Gathering as much power as she could, in her exhausted state, Akane sprinted forward for one, final charge. Ranma was going to pay!  
  
"You ain't done nothin' fer me, pop! I'm just lucky you didn't do nothin' real dumb like engage me to a whole buncha girls er somethin'! One sexless tomboy is more than enou-"   
  
Wham!   
  
Akane smashed her fist into her fianc's unguarded back, causing him to momentarily double over. Standing back up, he simply turned and glared. "Whaddya think yer doin', hittin' me like that!?!"  
  
"You deserved it, you jerk! How dare you ignore me like-" Then the reality of what happened finally struck Akane. They'd made a deal, and she'd struck Ranma, which meant that... Akane's smile turned feral.  
  
Like any good member of the male gender, the younger Saotome spotted his fianc's change in expression immediately. "Hey! What's up? Why're ya smilin' like that?"  
  
Changing her expression again into a sugary sweet smile, Akane replied, "Well, Ranma, I just remembered this little deal we made about me managing to hit you."  
  
Now incredibly wary at the radically changing emotions his fiancé displayed, Ranma asked cautiously, "Yeah. What of it?" Then remembering what happened just a moment before and the specifics of said deal, he did the logical, rational thing: the heir to the Saotome school panicked.  
  
"Ah, c'mon Akane! That didn't count! I was... er... distracted! Yeah! That's it: distracted!"  
  
Still smiling in that same sugary sweet way, Akane innocently replied, "Oh my, Ranma! I never thought you would be such a liar! It's so sad. Not only am I engaged to an idiot, but he's a dishonorable, lying idiot."  
  
"Hey! Cut it out, Akane! I ain't no liar! I just-"  
  
A cuff to the head interrupted Ranma. "C'mon, Ranma! Be a man! If you promised your fiancé a smooch for congratulations, then you should keep your word! Your honor as a martial artist depends on it, boy!"  
  
"Shut up, old man!"   
  
Grabbing the arm Genma had encouragingly placed on his shoulder with both hands, Ranma performed a judo throw, sending his oft over ambitious father into the koi pond. Nonetheless, Genma, as always, managed to get in the last word, or at least made an attempt to do so. The man turned panda flashed out a sign, which read, Stop acting like a girl, Ranma! Unfortunately, as a result of the lack of light on moonless nights, neither Ranma nor Akane could even see that Genma had held up a sign. Thus, another wooden sign shot up. Aren't you listening, boy! Once again, Mr. Saotome was thwarted, in his attempt to communicate, by the lack of light outside.  
  
Back inside the dojo, matters were heating up once again.   
  
"I ain't apologizin'! I already said ya cheated!"  
  
"Fine, Ranma! But, if you're going to be such a jerk about keeping promises, you should at least train me!"  
  
"If I do train ya, will ya shut up about it?"  
  
"Yes, but you'd better not lie this time."  
  
Slumping his shoulders, Ranma finally agreed. "Fine, ya tomboy! I'll do it."  
  
Instantly brightening, Akane smiled warmly at Ranma. "Thanks, Ranma." For an instant, the younger Saotome was tempted to almost call the smile cute. Then the moment passed, as Akane huffed and walked off, tossing a warning over her shoulder: "You'd better be serious about this, Ranma."  
  
Ranma scolded himself. "Cute? Man, that hit musta unscrewed my brain or somethin'. There's no way I'd ever go for some uncute, built like a brick tomboy like Akane."  
  
"I heard that Ranma!"  
  
"Ah man!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
The next few days at Furinkan occurred without incident. Ryouga woke up a few hours after his defeat, went to avenge his loss, and promptly became lost. Tatewaki Kuno had not appeared on campus since his loss either. There were the expected rumors that he was training for vengeance; Ranma ignored these whispered warnings. Even with a few months worth of training, the kendoist couldn't beat him.  
  
Unfortunately, Akane and Ranma's relationship benefited little from the lack of interruptions. A combination of stubbornness and annoyance with their engagement kept the two Anything Goes heirs warring with one another. Admittedly, the rumors that Akane's sudden marriage was the result of an unexpected pregnancy didn't help matters, and neither did Furinkan's continually attacking, male horde, but the couple's own interpersonal difficulties were the root cause of their animosity.  
  
In contrast, Nabiki and Goku's friendship was blooming at a remarkable rate. Having an elite martial artist who worked for free in her employ was a boon for the middle Tendo sister and, in Nabiki, Son Goku had discovered a sort of mother/older sister figure he'd always desired. The tailed teen had found a father in Genma and brothers in both Ranma and Ryouga, replacing the grandfather he had lost, but there were no female influences in his young life. Goku was finding that he really liked having Nabiki in his life.  
  
The youngest student of Anything Goes martial arts wandered through the main floor of the Tendo home. Yawning, Goku wandered towards the refrigerator, looking for a late night snack.   
  
Slowly opening the refrigerator door, the young Saiyajin caught sight of the food inside and his mouth watered. Piles of rice and fresh fish stocked every shelf; for Goku, this was heaven. Piling half the refrigerator's contents on a large plate, the martial artist placed the small feast on the table and grinned. Out of nowhere, the Saiyajin youth pulled a quartet of chop sticks, wielding two in each hand, in preparation for the one part of the Saotome school's art neither Ranma nor Genma had ever defeated him in.  
  
"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Food Fighting ultimate technique! Strike of the Starving Elephant!"  
  
In a blur of motion, Goku's chopsticks shot foodstuffs into his mouth. Less than two seconds later, the Saiyajin's assault on the fish and rice ended, however, the plate cleared. The teenager's mouth was brimming with various foods. Then, with a giant gulp, nearly ten pounds of assorted food was swallowed.  
  
Patting his stomach contentedly, the boy grinned. "Wow! That really hit the spot!"  
  
"An impressive show, boy! But are you ready for a real test!"  
  
Goku spun around to face his surrogate father. He'd never figure out how someone so big could move so quietly. "Huh? What test?"  
  
Taking a monolithic pose, Genma stood solemnly. "It's a mission only a true martial artist could manage, boy! Even Ranma couldn't possibly do this!"  
  
The last remaining Son was becoming intrigued. Ranma was a really good martial artist: even better than he was at martial arts. For Mr. Saotome to entrust him with such a difficult mission was a true show of the Anything Goes master's confidence in him. Goku wouldn't let him down!  
  
"So harrowing is this test boy, that I would not even dare go with you! Are you up to the challenge, Goku?"  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Alright then!" Mr. Saotome placed his arms behind his back, adopting a contemplative pose. "A famous master of the art, Tsuru'sennin, has recently entered Nerima with his pupils. It is rumored that he carries with him a scroll for the bukujutsu, a technique that will allow one to fly. I need you to get it for me, Goku! You're the only one who can do it!"  
  
Looking confused, Goku scratched the back of his head nervously. "But isn't that stealing? Ranma always said that stealing was pretty bad."  
  
Sweating nervously, Genma replied, "Er... no, Goku. It's only stealing if you don't have permission to take something, but I'm giving you permission, so it's okay!"  
  
"Oh! I guess that makes sense."  
  
Grinning, Goku waved good bye and sprinted out the Tendo's front door. Mr. Saotome would be so proud of him! It was so great that he could help the closest thing he'd ever had to a father like this!  
  
From the inside the Tendo homestead, Genma Saotome smirked triumphantly. He was a little bit annoyed with Ranma for filling the boy's head with wimpy rubbish about not stealing, but there was still time to fix his heir's way of thinking. Goku was great for appropriating techniques from other martial artists. That ability was a boon for the Saotome school. Anything Goes had always thrived on the adaptation to and incorporation of other martial arts. Since, he'd discovered Goku, his half of the school had grown to the point where he could likely rival even the master. If the air dance could be added to his repertoire, as well, none would be able to challenge him. Finally, the Saotomes would be masters of the air.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Ranma awoke with a splash.  
  
"Come on, boy! A true martial artist should be ready at all times!"  
  
Leaping down from his window, Genma joined his son in the Tendo yard. Looking serious, the elder Saotome moved into a stance with both arms extended like a bird's wings. The posture assisted with balance and was ideal for launching in the air: the true testing ground for any of the Saotome school's students.  
  
"Oh, how it pains me to see my son acting so weak and girlish!"  
  
By this point, Ranma was becoming seriously annoyed. Throwing him into the pond was one thing and patronizing was also not on Ranma's list of favorite things his father did, but insulting his manhood was going too far.   
  
"Shut up, ya old fart!"  
  
A burst of energy marked the explosion of a blazing blue battle aura around Ranma. Then, effortlessly vaulting forty feet into the air, Ranma torqued his body downwards. Combining gravity with the techniques of his chosen art, Ranma fired at his father.   
  
Showing the skills that had made him the master, Genma dodged with a back flip, striking his son with a pair of kicks in the process. "You're getting slow, boy!" Reversing his momentum, as he touched the ground, Mr. Saotome shot forward, opening up with a blitz of ki charged punches.  
  
Finding himself abruptly on the defensive, Ranma began to lose ground, gradually being herded towards the pond. The old man had always been a couple of steps ahead of him and seemed to have a bottomless well of techniques, but the pigtailed martial artist was closing the gap between the two of them. For the past year, he had been gaining ground. Between his fights with Ryouga, Goku and his father, he'd improved to the point where he was almost Genma's equal. Unfortunately, there is a large gap between being something and almost being something.  
  
"C'mon, pops! I could take this all day!" Ranma affirmed, smirking cockily in his father's direction, as he barely dodged the continuous barrage of blows directed his way.  
  
"Hmph," Genma replied in annoyance at the fact that he had yet to connect. "If that's true, then why have you left AN OPENING!"  
  
The elder martial artist right foot snaked forward in a trip, knocking Ranma into the pond for a second time that morning. He laughed. "Ha ha, boy! That'll teach you to disrespect your elders!"  
  
A female voice rose up from the pond, accompanied by a powerful splash of water. "Sorry, but I just ain't never respected a panda."  
  
Genma, drenched and in panda form, after Ranma's splash, grimaced, holding up one of his seemingly infinite supply of signs. That was a cheap shot, boy.  
  
Before the two cursed individuals could begin a pseudo verbal spar, a cheery voice rang out from the kitchen of the Tendo home. "Ranma, Mr. Saotome, breakfast is ready!"  
  
Boy, I'll teach you a lesson later. For now, there are more important things to do.  
  
Ranma disagreed with his father's sentiments. "Feh! You just wanna feed your fat stomach!" Then again, his sprint after his father was no slower for his disdain.  
  
As usual, the first thing that greeted Ranma upon arrival to the kitchen was Kasumi's warm smile. "Oh my, Ranma! You're all wet. Don't worry. The kettle will be boiled in just a few minutes."  
  
"Thanks, Kasumi. Being a girl really sucks!"  
  
"What do you mean by that, Ranma?" Akane intoned icily from across the table. "I don't see what's so terrible about being a girl."  
  
Ranma shrugged easily, ignoring the warning in Akane's tone. "Ah c'mon! I suppose girls ain't bad fer cookin' or cleanin', but they're too weak to take on a real man."  
  
That spark lit a fire in the part of Akane that hated the constant discrimination against women in Japanese society. She yelled a scathing reply, Ranma responded in kind, and the petty bickering was on.  
  
Ignoring the arguing fianc's, Soun turned to his old friend in congratulations. "You've really improved, Saotome. You've done a splendid job with your heir, but I think you're much stronger than before the trip as well. I must commend you, Saotome."  
  
Normally, Genma would have replied with a boastful speech about his abilities. Pandas aren't to skilled at speaking, however, so he just held up a sign instead. Darn right, Tendo! The boy and Goku really kept me on my feet!  
  
Nabiki preferred, unlike her family, to eat silently, and would normally use breakfast to plan her day. However, today, a more pressing consideration occupied her mind.   
  
"Where's Goku?"  
  
Conversation at the breakfast table stopped instantly. Looking around the room, both the Tendos and Saotomes confirmed that, in fact, Goku had not arrived for a meal: a seeming impossibility.   
  
Ever since Goku had arrived at the dojo, two characteristics of his had become readily apparent. The tailed youth was a fantastic martial artist and had an absolutely insatiable hunger. For him to decide to skip breakfast was analogous to the sun deciding it needed a vacation or the king of the world ordering that they act freely; the boy missing breakfast couldn't possibly be of his own volition.  
  
Ranma shot out of his chair, visibly worried. "What the heck? There ain't no way Goku'd miss a meal! What could've happened to the little guy?"  
  
Almost as if in answer to Ranma query, a dart shot through the Tendo family's window, impacting against the center of the family's kitchen table. Attached to the black, purple-striped dart was a note.  
  
Quickly grabbing the piece of paper and taking a glance, Mr. Tendo burst into tears. "Oh no! They've taken my dearest son! What a tragedy! What a-"  
  
"Hey! Wait a sec, Mr. Tendo!" The older man ceased his bawling momentarily. "Since when do you have a son !?!"  
  
For a few seconds, the Tendo patriarch mulled over his future son-in-law's statement. "An excellent point, Ranma. I don't have a son. But then what could this note possible mean?"  
  
Ranma snatched the piece of paper, this time reading the words elaborately written on it aloud. "Dear Mr. Tendo, We have your son. If you don't come to claim him at the gates of Furinkan High School by dawn today, your son will die in a most painful manner." The note was left unsigned.  
  
Nabiki grimaced. "I'd give good odds that they've mistaken Goku for your son, dad. We'd better go save him."  
  
As the entirety of the Tendo household, save only Kasumi, sprinted towards the high school (Nabiki carried in her father's arms to allow for greater speed), something weird about that note finally struck Ranma. Admittedly, he or someone else may have come to the conclusion earlier, but they were in a rather stressful situation. In fact, the sun in his eyes was what ultimately clued him in.  
  
"What the heck !?! The sun was up before we even got that note! Whadda they mean he'll die if we don't show up before dawn !?!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Ugh! I'm so hungry! I haven't eaten for hours! I'm gonna die if you don't feed me soon!" Son Goku moaned pitifully. Bound with steel chains to a massive pike his captors had placed between the school gates, the Saiyajin was incredibly hungry. Admittedly, he could likely last another month or so, but his stomach was writhing in agony.  
  
"Good! Make sure you die quickly, as well. You said you would be dead almost three hours ago!"  
  
"Must... have breakfast... or else... I'll die."  
  
"Excellent! Get on with it then! If I'd known you would take this long to die, I would have set the date of our revenge for tomorrow. One simply cannot have a proper battle without one fallen comrade to avenge on one side or the other!"  
  
Glancing away from his captive for a few seconds, Tsuru'sennin -- the ancient Crane master -- gazed gleefully at his disciples. "Tien, Choutzu, are you both prepared?" The students of the Crane school nodded solemnly. "Excellent! Any moment now, the Tendos will be arriving. We will have our revenge on the Anything Goes school for trying to steal our most sacred technique!"  
  
A quartet of figures in martial arts attire became visible in the distance. Foremost, a young boy and an older man were hopping along rooftops at a dazzling pace. Just behind them, another older man, this one clad in samurai armor approached, carrying a teen aged girl. Finally, a dark-haired girl, wearing a yellow gi was running through the streets at top speed. "Heh heh! It appears that the Tendos have arrived."  
  
Ranma was the first to reach the trio clothed in blue gis bearing the Crane school's insignia. "Give us back our friend!" he yelled, glaring at the older man who seemed to be the leader.   
  
"Don't you mean... your brother: Goku Tendo!" The Crane master cackled evilly.  
  
"Um... no," Ranma replied, looking confused. "What makes you think me and Goku are Tendos? We're just staying at their dojo for a while."  
  
"What !?! That ruins all the drama! What sort of epic conflict is over a friend !?! Lovers and brothers are one thing, but friends!" The ancient martial arts master scowled. "I suppose friends will have to do!"  
  
By this time, the entirety of the party of Tendos and Saotomes had arrived. The four martial artists faced Tsuru'sennin, prepared for anything, while Nabiki moved away from the battle at a brisk walk. There was no way she could assist her companions in a fight, but, if she could get Goku free, there was no way her family could lose.  
  
"Tien, Choutzu: I will defeat this impudent fool of a boy. Split the remainder of the wretches amongst yourselves." Then, defying Ranma's ability to dodge, Tsuru'sennin struck with a knifelike blow to the head.  
  
The blow would have slain lesser mortals in a blow; Ranma was not a lesser mortal. Nonetheless, the attack sent him careening into and through the school gate. He stood groggily, attempting to regain his equilibrium, but Tsuru'sennin was already upon him. "Not dead? You're stronger than I anticipated, but it will not be enough!"  
  
As hammer and knife blows assaulted Ranma, the Anything Goes fighter was unable to get his bearings. "I've gotta go to the air," he thought, twisting out of the way of yet another strike. Bending his knees, in the moment of respite the dodge gave him, the younger Saotome leapt fifty feet into the air, using the techniques of his school to maximize air resistance. "Good. Now that I'm up here there's no way that jerk can take me."  
  
"Is that so?" a voice asked from above him.  
  
"What? How did you-" Ranma's second query was effectively cut off by a, literally, flying kick to his gut. As he crashed into the ground, the pigtailed martial artist's mind spun. That man had been flying. Not hovering by increasing air resistance, but actually flying. There was no way he could match the old master in the air or on the ground. This was going to get rough.   
  
-o--o--o-  
  
As Akane saw the apparent leader of Goku's kidnappers smash Ranma through a wall, she quickly moved to intercede. If the old man had beaten Ranma that easily, there was no way she could defeat him, but maybe she could buy Ranma the time he needed to recover. The youngest Tendo daughter leaped in between the Crane master and his target, or at least tried to do so.  
  
"What the heck?" She couldn't move. Not just her legs, but her entire body was frozen in place. Then she noticed the chalk white-skinned figure hovering above her position, a finger pointed in her direction. He was smirking.  
  
"Nothing can escape my ultimate technique. Now watch what I can do with you." He gestured with his forefinger and Akane flew into one of the school's concrete walls in a bone jarring impact. "You can't win. Nyaah! Nyaah!" The doll-like figure stuck out his tongue at Akane, as the mockery continued.   
  
Seeing his daughter's distress, Soun ran towards her. "Akane!" Unfortunately, the master of the Tendo school was so focused on Akane's predicament that he entirely missed the ki beam that impacted with his back, plowing him through a brick wall and into unconsciousness.  
  
"What a fool," scoffed Tien." He couldn't even keep his mind on his opponents.  
  
Out of nowhere, a wooden sign impacted with his skull, knocking the three-eyed for a loop. "What the heck was that !?!" he yelled picking up the scrap of wood. There were words printed on the sign; he read them. Inattention is a fault which you seem to suffer from as well, boy. After all, you didn't even dodge the punch!  
  
"That wasn't a punch! It was a cheap shot!"  
  
"That's right, boy!" a solemn voice came from behind the triclops. "This is the punch."   
  
A massive uppercut sent Tien flying back twenty feet before he could reorient himself with the bukujitsu technique. "Whoever you are, you're not going to beat the heir Tsuru'sennin's heir!" The three-eyed martial artist leaped to the air and put a hand to his forehead. "Rapid fire Dodonpa!"  
  
A veritable array of ki beams lanced the ground, forcing Tien's opponent to finally reveal himself. From behind a tree, Genma leaped across the school yard, temporarily out of Tien's range. The white gi wearing martial arts master needed a plan. Between his enemy's ability to fly and the ki beams, his defense was practically invulnerable. If Genma stopped long enough to charge his own blast in return, he'd be struck; the same thing would happen if he leapt into the air. For now, he would have to dodge and hope the boy ran out of ki before he made a lucky shot.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Unbeknownst to the combatants, three other variables had just entered the Furinkan school yard. One, Nabiki Tendo, was considering scaling the pike, in order to free Goku. Normally, she wouldn't even consider trying something like her current plan to save her the kid. Even for someone in good shape, like her, climbing straight up a twenty-five foot tall pole was nigh on impossible. She walked up to the pike and placed a hand on the smooth wood, as if to begin, and halted.  
  
"Come on, Nabiki," she thought to herself. "This plan is ridiculous and won't work. It's the sort of thing Goku would come up with and didn't you swear not to ever try anything the crazy midget suggested. There has to be another way; just think!"   
  
Then the answer came to her in the form of a slowly emerging figure, clad in a kendo uniform, wielding a bokken at his side. "Nabiki Tendo! Where is my tigress, Akane Tendo? I will pay you handsomely for the information!"  
  
Regretting the fact that she was about to pass up easy money, Nabiki forced a predatory smile. "Now, now, Kuno-baby, I couldn't possibly take money from you. There's just a little something I need done."  
  
"Ask and I shall do anything for knowledge of my tigress, Nabiki!"  
  
Her smile widened just slightly. Kuno was so easy to manipulate. "Oh, it's nothing serious! I just think this pole they put in the middle of the gates is a bit unseemly. Couldn't you cut it down, Kuno-baby?"  
  
"Truly, t'is a boorish ornament. I agree to your terms, Nabiki Tendo!" Without another word, the Blue Thunder bared his bokken and smote down the pike, knocking Goku to the ground. "Ah! As I anticipated, the monstrous cretin Son Goku was responsible for this-"  
  
Nabiki had to think fast before Kuno took out a helpless, hungry and exhausted Goku. "Look Kuno, a... er... ghoul has assaulted my sister!"  
  
"What? Who dares attack my tigress?" The kendoist's eyes turned towards Akane, who continued to be beaten against the walls of Furinkan telekinetically. "Do not think your time has passed, Son Goku. I shall smite thee in just a few minutes!" Kuno sprinted in his love's direction. After almost a weak training in an advanced variation on kendo, none would stand in the way of his quest for Akane Tendo's heart.  
  
Nabiki, ran in the opposite direction: towards Goku. "You'd better appreciate this, kiddo. I could have scammed Kuno for a lot of money just now." Taking out a lock pick she'd had crafted for just such an occasion, the most mercenary of the Tendos began working at the steel chains' lock. The lock wasn't exactly top grade, so she could probably unlock it in a few minutes tops. Then the jerks who'd stolen her best assistant would learn what happened when you messed with Nabiki Tendo.  
  
Tatewaki Kuno and Nabiki made two variables, but a third unexpected arrival had just entered the Furinkan High property, as well.   
  
"Curse you, Ranma! How dare you cheat like that Ranma !?!" The bandanna wearing warrior thought he heard Saotome's scream. "Darn you, Ranma! Now I'm even hearing your voice in my-" A second scream, this time closer, cut short Ryouga's monologue.  
  
"Huh? Where's that voice coming from?" The lost boy looked up, down, but never even considered the wall beside him, until Ranma Saotome came crashing through the concrete fence, landing on top of him.  
  
"Damn you Ranma! How dare you land on me !?!"  
  
The pig-tailed boy looked momentarily surprised and then grinned. "Man, Ryouga! Am I ever glad to see-"  
  
A rather violent and powerful punch knocked Ranma through yet another wall, effectively cutting him off. "Heh heh! For all the hell you've put me through Ranma, prepare to-"  
  
As seemed to be becoming a pattern, Ryouga was cut off, as a Dodonpa struck him, hurling the umbrella wielding martial artist back a half dozen feet. "What the heck !?!" The occasional student of Anything Goes looked upwards and cursed. Some old geezer was floating in the air and shooting those thin little beams all over the place. Worse yet, the scum bag had hit him: him, Ryouga Hibiki. No one blasts Ryouga Hibiki and gets away with it.   
  
Hurling his umbrella at the master of the Crane school, as if the bamboo construct was boomerang, the eternally lost boy smirked sadistically as his weapon began spinning like a buzz saw. "Die!"  
  
Getting up from his fourth crash through a wall that day, Ranma looked at his longtime rival and smirked. "Changed yer mind 'bout helpin' me out, Ryouga?"  
  
"Don't think this makes us friends, or anything, Ranma. I'm only helping you because that old man really pissed me off."  
  
"Oh yah! Well it ain't like I like workin' with a wimp like you, but these guys wanna hurt Goku. I ain't lettin' them do it!"  
  
Ranma's words seemed to sober Ryouga, stopping his rage from exploding at Ranma's insults. "They hurt Goku?"  
  
"Yep. The old guy even said he wanted to kill the little guy."  
  
Ryouga's expression seemed to darken, as his eyes narrowed to slits. Besides his parents, Ryouga had few things he truly valued in the world. There was his life, his dog and one friend: the only friend he had ever made. That friend's name was Son Goku. No one threatened Ryouga Hibiki's friends and survived.  
  
"He's dead!"  
  
Ignoring the blasts of chi energy raining all over the streets, Ryouga leapt straight towards his assailant. If all went well, he'd reach the old geezer at about the same time as his umbrella and then there was going to be pain for the man who had dared threaten his friend: a lot of pain.  
  
End Chapter Three  
  
Author Notes: That was a fun chapter to write, though the fight scene was a little darker than I originally intended. Oh well. I guess Tien and Choutzu just aren't very lighthearted characters. Next chapter the fight comes to an exciting conclusion and things lighten up again; the violence won't last for too long. I suppose I should also thank all those who have and continue to review. I received one suggestion I liked and am incorporating into the story. Ah yes! For those who want to know if Goku and Nabiki are being paired together, I don't know why I would ever tell you who is going to end up together. That would ruin all the wonderful suspense. Thanks again for the reviews and see you at my next update. 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball or Ranma 1/2.  
  
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.   
  
- Sir Winston Churchill  
  
Chapter Four  
  
"He's mine, Saotome!"  
  
"As if, Ryouga!"  
  
Ryouga Hibiki and Ranma Saotome, the finest students the Anything Goes school of martial arts had ever seen, were together a force few could challenge. Each capable of shredding cars with his bare hands, the elite fighters were masters of both the air and the ground. Among the perhaps forty ki wielders spread across the Earth they were remarkable in their youth, adaptation and combat record. When fighting in tandem, the Anything Goes practitioners had never lost a battle; they didn't plan on starting now.  
  
From opposite sides of the street, Ranma and Ryouga leapt towards Tsuru'sennin. They were fast: too fast. Even the grand master of the Crane school only had time to finish off one of them.  
  
"Dodonpa!"  
  
A beam of blazing red ki blasted into Ranma Saotome. Unable to dodge in mid-air, the heir to the Saotome school crossed his arms and summoned his ki, hoping to ward off the attack; his efforts proved futile. The blast roared through the pigtailed boy's defenses, sending him careening through yet another concrete wall. Ryouga's flight, on the other hand, was unmolested.  
  
Unable to adopt a defensive posture in time, the Crane master was struck by nearly a dozen bone-breaking blows from Ryouga. "How dare you hurt Goku !?!"   
  
Crumpling from the pain, the three hundred year-old spiked his ki, prompting his flight away from his enraged opponent. He coughed up some blood and grimaced. "No one has hurt me like that in years, boy. You're going to pay-"  
  
A flying kick to the spine, courtesy of a quickly recovered Ranma, silenced the ancient martial artist, just as a swarm of bandannas tore into him. "Ya think we're gonna le ya get away, y'old fart?"   
  
"You're going to pay for this!"  
  
"Stop bein' so bloody cliched," Ranma replied, booting his foe down to the ground. "Don't ya bad guys ever any new lines?"  
  
"How dare you mock Tsuru'sennin, the Crane master !?!"   
  
The master of flight redistributed his ki, softening his fall, and turning so that he landed on his feet. Preparing to take to the air again, he found his progress impeded by a pair of angry martial artists.   
  
From both sides of the old warrior, a blur of fists and feet assaulted his defenses. Alone he could have taken any one of the two fighters apart, but together they outmatched him. A snap-kick penetrated his defenses, stunning him momentarily: long enough for another twenty attacks to strike, finally knocking Tsuru'sennin unconscious.  
  
Falling to the ground, the ancient martial arts master uttered one final threat: "I shall have my revenge..."  
  
Ranma's foot crashed down upon the Crane master's head, crushing the old man's skull against the pavement. "Jeez. Even half-dead, the old geezer manages ta be cliched."  
  
A distinctly feminine scream rang out from the direction of the Furinkan schoolyard.   
  
Ranma's eyes widened noticeably. "Oh crap! Akane!" Without another word, the gender changing martial artist took to the rooftops, sprinting towards the school. He didn't even notice that he'd left behind Ryouga in his panic.  
  
"Damn you, Saotome! Wait for me!"  
  
The bandanna-clad warrior charged after Ranma, leaping to a nearby rooftop. The only problem was that the eternally lost boy leapt, and was charging, in the wrong direction. Within moments, Ryouga Hibiki was lost.  
  
"Curse you, Saotome!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Click. The lock binding Son Goku in chains snapped open. Pulling the chains off her tailed ally, Nabiki smirked at her own ingenuity.  
  
"Heh heh. Score another victory for Nabiki Tendo."  
  
Then Nabiki noticed that, rather than sprinting off to save her sister, Goku was not moving. He wasn't profusely thanking her either. In fact, the little scamp was laying on the ground moaning.  
  
"Oh... the pain! My stomach! I'm gonna die, if you don't give me foooood!"  
  
The ice queen of Furinkan High's left eye began to twitch dangerously. She'd passed up an opportunity to appropriate thousands of yen from Kuno, in order to save Goku. In quite possibly the most charitable act of her life, Nabiki had decided to save her associate, instead of stockpiling more money. He hadn't even said thank you. All the little scamp was doing was moaning about his fat stomach! How dare he?  
  
"Son Goku, if you don't save my sister right now, I'm going to make sure you never eat again!"  
  
In a blur of motion, Son Goku was on his feet, staring dolefully up at Nabiki. "Y-You... you wouldn't r-really stop me from e-eating forever, would you?" The middle Tendo sister simply glared.  
  
Goku swallowed dryly. "Er... then I'd best go save her, huh?" A cold stare was, once again, Nabiki's only response. "Heh heh heh... I guess I'll take that as a yes."  
  
Looking as if he was walking to his doom, the Saiyajin lethargically trudged towards the school building. Choutzu had stopped crashing Akane into walls when Kuno struck, unable to muster the concentration necessary to do anymore than hold the both martial artists in place. Telekinetic attacks required huge amounts of mental energy and, as a teenager, focus was something he lacked.   
  
There was no way he could freeze Goku. Maybe he could manage with a psychic boost from Tien, but his best friend was occupied fighting the old guy in the white gi. Uncertain whether he would be better off simply trying to fight all three fighters at once, Choutzu considered his predicament carefully.  
  
Then Ranma took the choice out of Choutzu's hands, plowing into the pasty faced midget with a jump kick in the head. Having been unprepared for the attack, the Crane school student flew through the walls of the girl's change room, landing on a half-dressed girl. Two dozen screams of "Pervert!" were the lasts sounds he heard before the girls beat him into unconsciousness.   
  
"Man," Ranma remarked at Choutzu's predicament, wincing. "That was rough. Gotta remember to stay away from girl's change rooms."   
  
Abruptly, the younger Saotome noticed Akane. His fiancé lay in a heap, bruised and beaten from Choutzu's attacks. "I guess the guy deserved it, though : hittin' a girl like that." Walking over to Akane, Ranma moved to pick her up, but was stopped by a wooden sword blocking his path.  
  
"Hold, Saotome. Touch not my tigress with thine sorcerous hands!"  
  
"Jeez, Kuno," Ranma replied, disarming the kendoist with a trio of pressure point strikes to the older martial artist's hands. "Settle down, guy."  
  
"Resorting to your foul magics already, Saotome? And yet, the fight is not even begun. I come not for battle, cur, but in challenge."  
  
Blinking confusedly, Ranma tentatively asked Tatewaki, "Is there a difference?"  
  
"Verily, dark sorceror." Reaching into a pocket in his kendo uniform, the Blue Thunder pulled out a small letter. Upon the paper, in delicate script was printed the word Challenge. He handed the letter to Ranma and turned in Akane's direction. Now, I shall simply take my lady to our humble abode and-Urk." Kuno collapsed in a heap.  
  
"Dream on, Kuno." Ranma lowered his fist from where he'd struck the kendoist on the back of his head and placed the older boy's challenge letter in his right pocket. Picking up the youngest of the Tendo sisters, the pigtailed fighter leaped to the rooftops once again, running in the direction in which he recalled Doctor Tofu's clinic being. "You'd better be all right, you macho chick."  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Tien was becoming worried. He still hadn't managed to hit the old man with a Dodonpa and he was beginning to feel the effects of launching dozens of Dodonpas in the space of a few seconds. Choutzu and his master looked to have both been defeated; the tide of this battle had turned against the Crane School. Then, as often happened when tides turned in Nerima, his situation became even worse.  
  
From the ground, a yell rose up: "You've overused your technique, boy, and now I've learned it as well! Dodonpa!"  
  
A blazing blue beam of ki exploded towards him out of nowhere, striking Tien. The three-eyed warrior was stunned and, before he could regain his composure, Genma was upon him. Three mid-air kicks and a punch to the gut knocked left the younger fighter reeling. Maybe he could still defeat the old man who'd stolen one of his master's techniques, but even if he succeeded, there was no way he could summon the energy for yet another battle. Flight was the only reasonable option.  
  
"Why don't you just give up, boy? There's no way you can defeat a master of Anythi-"  
  
A roundhouse struck Genma in the face, interrupting his taunts. Taking advantage of his foe's momentary distraction, Tien flew over to his unconscious companions, wincing at the numerous bruises adorning Choutzu's body.  
  
Picking up the other two members of the Crane School, Tien, once more, took to the air. The Anything Goes thieves had one today, but at their next meeting, fate would not be so kind to them. They would return.  
  
As Genma's opponent fled, the middle-aged master of Anything Goes grinned and began to boast about his prowess. "Well, Ranma, I'm sure you can now appreciate my true power. As a master of Anything Goes, of course, my power is greater than your own, but your slacking is obvious. If you want to be even half as strong as me, then you're going to have to-"  
  
Genma finally turned around to peer at his son imperiously and noticed that Ranma was gone. Where he'd expected to find his heir, instead, a crowd of students had formed, talking to one another. Of course! They must be speaking of his great abilities in tones full of awe.  
  
"Any idea why the weird old cook's talking to himself?"  
  
"Nope. Maybe he's just crazy."  
  
"Ah man, that's sad. Fat, bald, ugly and crazy: geez that dude really lost the genetic lottery."  
  
"A sad thing it is. A sad thing."  
  
Genma's face fell, as his ego took a blow. There was only one sure fire way to get out of embarrassing situations like this one. A sheen of light shot across Genma's glasses, revealing a powerful stare that would strike fear into even the greatest warriors. Grabbing a bucket full of water, the martial artist poured its contents over his head, grabbed a tire from nowhere, and began rolling around with the piece of rubber on the ground. A wooden sign was held in his left hand.  
  
I'm just a cute little panda!  
  
Hiroshi and Daisuke, from the front of the crowd surrounding Genma turned to one another momentarily, serious expressions forming on their faces.  
  
"Truly, Daisuke, it is a sad thing for a man to be cursed to turn into an animal."  
  
"I agree, Hiroshi my friend, but let us look on the bright side. At least he is better looking this way."  
  
"An excellent point, Daisuke."  
  
"Thank you, Hiroshi."  
  
"Thank you, Daisuke."  
  
Genma-panda simply grimaced. Perhaps, transforming into a panda in front of much of Furinkan High's population was not his greatest plan. Ranma would pay for tricking him. The next time they sparred, he would teach that boy some respect for his elders.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
Akane awoke slowly to a vaguely familiar voice. "C'mon, Akane, wake up. You've been outta it for an hour. Jeez, how can a chick who acts so macho take a coupl'a punches so badly."  
  
The masculine tones initially reminded of her father, but the words she groggily comprehended allowed that possibility's dismissal. Her father would never say anything like that; the fact that she was being insulted also knocked Kuno and Dr. Tofu off her list. That left one man: Ranma Saotome.  
  
"You jerk!"   
  
Akane's fist plowed into Ranma's face, knocking him into a nearby wall. The fog that had clouded her thought processes dispersed, leaving a furious clarity in the haze's wake. That idiot had not only let her get pounded into a wall without lifting a finger to help her, but the jerk had the gall to insult her while she was sleeping.   
  
An older voice than Ranma's registered from behind the youngest Tendo sister. "Akane, was it really necessary to punch him into my wall? That will cost quite a bit to fix, you know."  
  
The female martial artist paled. That voice... it was Dr. Tofu, and she'd just made a fool of herself right in front of him. She was acting like a child in front of the man of her dreams.   
  
"I'm sorry, Dr. Tofu. I didn't mean to punch him into your wall." The teenager made tiny circles with her right foot, staring at the ground ashamedly.  
  
The doctor raised an eyebrow at Akane's explanation, which she failed to notice, as her attention was on the floor. "Well, I suppose I can forgive you. Just try not to do it again. Kami knows I get enough injuries as matters stand."  
  
A glowing smile lit Akane's face. "Oh, thank you, Dr. Tofu!"  
  
Understandably, Ranma was becoming annoyed. He saved Akane from whatever the pale, little kid she'd been fighting was doing and what sort of thanks does he get? Oh, yes. She decides to bash him into the wall and then goes all ga ga over the doctor.   
  
"Hey, c'mon! Break it up!" Ranma jumped in-between the doctor and Akane and glared at his fiancé. Admittedly, the glare might have been more intimidating, if his head wasn't stuck at a ninety degree angle from Akane's punch, but it's the thought that counts.   
  
"Oh! You're already up!" Dr. Tofu remarked, poking a pressure point that allowed Ranma to regain the use of his head. "That's good. A girl like Akane needs a durable fiancé!"  
  
The teenage girl's expression changed to mortification. "R-Ranma, you told him?"  
  
"No," the doctor replied first. "Actually, it was K-K-your older sister who told me."  
  
"Oh." Akane deflated. She couldn't be angry with Kasumi. Her oldest sibling was simply too nice. "Well our parents decided it! I'm not marrying him!"  
  
"Feh. The feelin's mutual, tomboy. Ya think I wanna marry a chick who's manlier than me?"  
  
"Don't worry about that now! You're both still young. I'm still you'll grow to like one another."   
  
"Don't hold yer breath, Doc."  
  
"Akane's a very sweet girl, Ranma." Said girl blushed bright red.  
  
"She is !?!" She pounded him in the stomach with her elbow.  
  
"Don't worry, Ranma. You'll understand soon enough." With that rather enigmatic remark, the doctor shooed both patients out of his clinic, suggesting they take the rest of the day off school. He also patted gently patted Ranma on the hip.  
  
As the two fiancés wandered back towards the dojo, the verbal war began in earnest once again.   
  
"You know, Akane, you make a much better girl when you're asleep."  
  
"What do you mean by that !?!"  
  
"Ah, well I guess when you ain't poundin' everything in sight like some lunatic gorrilla, you're a lot more girlish."  
  
Akane's hands clenched violently and she gritted her teeth. Whatever the little jerk's game was, she wasn't playing.  
  
This aggravated Ranma quite a bit. Ever since they'd left the clinic, Akane hadn't talked to him at all. He wasn't going to let her ignore him any longer. "Yeah. Ya know, I got a coupl'a sleepin' potions from China. Maybe we could tape yer eyes open er somethin' and find some guy willin' ta marry ya. Then again, a guy'd have ta be pretty desperate to settle fer a girl who's built like a brick and-" Whoosh!  
  
Akane's anger finally won over and she swung at her fiancé with a wild roundhouse. Ranma dodged under the punch effortlessly.  
  
"Man, Akane. Even fer you that's pretty sl-" The pigtailed martial artist's legs collapsed beneath him, sending him to the ground. "What the heck !?! I can't move my legs!"  
  
Inwardly, he thought, "That lousy, doctor. He musta done somethin' to my hips when he patted me!"  
  
"Oh, for goodness' sake!" Akane placed one of Ranma's arms over her shoulder.   
  
"What are you doing !?!" the male martial artist protested.  
  
The teenage girl simply turned to face Ranma with an 'I'm in charge' sort of look. "Piggyback. You can't walk, can you?"  
  
"What !?! You expect a man to put up with this humiliation !?!"  
  
"Good point," Akane conceded. A squirt of a hose later found Ranma soaking wet, female, and, once again, on Akane's back. "It's okay if we're both girls, hm?"  
  
As the pair trekked back home, one carrying her currently female fiancé, while said fiancé idly sat looking off into the blue sky above, Dr. Tofu's remarks came back to Ranma.  
  
Akane's a very sweet girl Ranma. You'll understand soon enough.  
  
The reply "Not yet, buddy, not yet" was the boy's principal thought for the rest of his and Akane's journey.  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Thank you so much, Nabiki! I don't know what I would have done if you'd taken away my food forever!"  
  
"Just cut it out with the puppy dog eyes, Goku!" Nabiki replied sharply, cringing away from Goku's most potent sympathy winning technique.   
  
As the Saiyajin's face took on its usual, cheery disposition, the middle Tendo sister sighed and relaxed. She might have been Furinkan High's ice queen, but Nabiki often doubted Kami, himself, could ignore the kid's naive charm. "Just try to save my sister a little quicker next time, okay squirt?"  
  
"Sure Nabiki!" Goku enthused. "Now can we go get some ice cream, Nabiki? I'm really hungry!"  
  
"Not unless you're paying, kid."  
  
Once again, the tailed martial artist's expression drooped, instantaneously transforming from happy to doleful. "But I don't have any money, Nabiki. Can you pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease pay?"  
  
The puppy dog eyes focused on the seventeen year-old with indescribable potency, but found themselves countered by Nabiki's love of money. The ensuing battle was short: pity bowed to nigh insatiable greed. The result was the teen aged mercenary utilizing a conversation stopping disinterested stare to, as one might expect, bring Goku's begging to an end.  
  
Abruptly, the last living Son male switched tactics. "What about if I borrowed the ice cream?"  
  
Nabiki blinked confusedly. "What do you mean, Goku?"  
  
"Well, Mr. Saotome always said that, if someone is really hungry, they can just borrow some food and, as long as the owner doesn't notice, it's okay."  
  
"What !?! Are you saying you stole food! Then again, all things considered, I'm not that surprised Mr. Saotome would teach you that."  
  
Now Goku's turn to cock his head quizzically had come. "We didn't steal. Mr. Saotome always said that borrowing food was a type of training. Only people who get caught are stealing."  
  
Nabiki's thoughts with regard to Goku's explanation may be summarized as follows: "Oh Kami, give me strength. Note to self: pay no attention to anything Mr. Saotome says about morality or honour." Then, the focus of her thoughts shifted. "I'm going to eventually have to teach Goku some proper morals, but, for now, why not use the resources I have? After all, the little squirt's not the only one who appreciates quality ice cream."  
  
"I never thought of it that way, Goku," Nabiki replied truthfully, though the thoughtful expression on her face was a mask. "Do you think you could get me some sherbert?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
Goku vanished, moving at speeds beyond the scope of the average human's vision. A quartet of orange blurs, and about nine seconds, later, Goku returned, two bowls full of ice cream in hand.  
  
"Nice job, kid. I've got no idea what I'd do without you." In addition to her warm remarks, Nabiki rewarded Goku with a rare, genuine smile. "You're the best, squirt."  
  
Blushing from the compliments, the youthful Saiyajin handed his friend the ice cream she'd asked for and dove into his chocolate treat face first. For a few moments, the duo walked silently, but companionably, towards the Tendo home. Both were occupied with their ice cream; after all, the weather was fairly warm. Goku, as one might expect, was the first to finish.  
  
"Nabiki?"  
  
The teen aged girl was still eating, but she proved more capable of dissociating herself from the task of eating than Goku. "What is it, Goku?"  
  
Nervously, the orange gi-clad boy scratched behind his head. "Well you see, Nabiki. I've never really known any girls before -- just grandpa, Ranma, Ryouga and Mr. Saotome --, but I really like you."  
  
Nabiki didn't like where Goku's speech was leading. Sure, the kid was a ton of fun and pretty cute most of the time, but he was three years younger than her. That might not seem like too long for some people, but, for a seventeen year-old, the gap seemed insurmountable. The kid didn't even look as if he'd hit puberty yet. He was barely above waist height. A relationship could never work.  
  
"So, I wanna know, will you be my big sister? I've never had a sister, ever!"  
  
The second daughter of the Tendo family released a relieved sigh. Sister wasn't anywhere close to girlfriend -- thank Kami. Furthermore, in her eyes, the role of Goku's sister was far more desirable. He was, perhaps, the only person besides her family members who had ever wriggled his way into Nabiki's heart. She was genuinely fond of the little guy. Besides, if he started seeing her as his female role model, rather than just another friend, maybe she could teach him some business savvy. Having an assistant whom she didn't need to constantly keep in sight, in order to protect against him squandering all her assets foolishly, would be very nice. However, for making her fear he was coming on to her, the little squirt was going to squirm a little before she replied.  
  
"Hmmmm. I don't know, Goku. What's in it for me?"  
  
Not expecting his task to prove difficult, Goku had not prepared for counter arguments or questions. Therefore, he was forced to improvise. "Well, then you'll have a brother, right?" He peered up hopefully in Nabiki's direction.  
  
"Eh, so what. I already have two sisters and they aren't so great. Why would I want more dead weight dragging me down?"  
  
"What !?! But I thought you liked me!" Tears began to form in Goku's eyes. "It's not fair! I want a sister! I want a sister!"  
  
A feminine hand latched onto his shoulder, turning the Anything Goes practitioner around. A joking smile was on her face. "C'mon, kid. I was just kidding. There's no need for any crying. Us ice queens don't go for guys who act like little sissies."  
  
The flow of tears halted, as Goku's lips quirked upwards in a tentative grin. "Really?"  
  
"Well, only if you stop moping around. I cant stand touchy feely guys. They always make me want to puke. So, if you're looking for a sister, this girl wants a few less tears and a bit more enthusiasm."  
  
"Yeah! You're the best, big sister!" A diving tackle lifted Nabiki off her feet, as a couple hundred pounds of happy Saiyajin leaped onto her.   
  
"Jeez, kid, what the heck have you been eating?" From under Goku, Nabiki's words came with her usual amused indifference, but an underlying change was present as well. One could almost say that the ice queen's frosty shields had melted. There was genuine warmth in her criticism from underneath Goku. "The first thing we're doing, when we get home, is putting you on a diet!"  
  
The Saiyajin paled momentarily, but seeing amusement rather than seriousness on Nabiki's face, he just laughed. "Hah! You try it and I'll show you some of the Anything Goes food fighting techniques!"  
  
"As if there's any way you could actually gobble food faster, you pig!"  
  
Nabiki Tendo and Son Goku walked towards the Tendo dojo, content in each other's company. One had a new sister, the other a brother, and both parties were certain they'd gotten the better deal in the exchange.   
  
-o--o--o-  
  
"Damn you, Ranma! How dare you abandon me like this!?! When I find you, you're dead Saotome!"  
  
As one might expect from the above rant, Ryouga Hibiki was, once again, lost, and not particularly happy with the pigtailed youth he held responsible for his misfortune. Incredibly, he had managed to remain in Nerima following his longtime rival's desertion, though the lost boy, certainly, didn't realize where he was currently located.  
  
"I'll crush you like a worm, Saotome! I'll spit on your bleeding corpse! For the hell you've put me through, I shall have revenge! Prepare yourself to taste my vengeance!"  
  
Glancing at his surroundings, Ryouga was unsurprised to discover that he recognized nothing within his sight. At least the signs were still in Japanese, which meant he remained in his home country. Maybe he could ask for directions from a passerby. Admittedly, on every other occasion he had asked for directions, he'd received lies for his troubles, but, perhaps, he would have some luck for once.  
  
Trying to find an honest looking individual, the bandanna-clad youth took note of a pretty girl standing alone, approximately twenty metres ahead of him. Luscious black hair framed an aristocratic visage, complimented by a well defined figure her school uniform did little to hide. The very sight of the young woman nearly caused a nose bleed in the Anything Goes student. Then a group of heavily bandaged guys approached her and began shouting threats.  
  
"What you did to us is unforgivable, you cheater! We're going to make you pay!"  
  
Ryouga frowned. He had never been quite as uptight as Ranma about female roles and fighting girls, though actual combat with a girl was something he tried to avoid, but a group of young men attacking a lone woman was not an action he approved. Particularly, slight, beautiful, young women, he felt, should not be targeted by large groups of boys. There was no chance he'd let the men harass their target.  
  
Thus, as the largest of the figures charged, preparing a wild punch, the youth abruptly found a yellow umbrella impeding her path. "How dare you attempt to pick on a pretty, innocent girl like this!?! You should be ashamed of yourself!"  
  
The leader of Furinkan's rhythmic gymnastics team blinked owlishly in response. Kodachi? Innocent? The witch had hospitalized most of the team. What sort of drugs was the boy on?  
  
"What are you talking about!?! We're just giving this witch what she has coming!"   
  
The rhythmic gymnast lashed out with a kick, hoping to scare the boy into vacating the premises, but once more found her assault intercepted. On this occasion, her leg was grabbed by her opponent. She was then lifted off the ground and thrown into her compatriots, knocking the entire team to the ground.  
  
"I hope that teaches you a lesson! Guys shouldn't pick on pretty girls. If you want to hurt her, you'll have to go through me."  
  
Finally, discovering the misinterpretation of the situation that caused an incredibly strong and cute boy to attack their team, the rhythmic gymnasts moved to remove the bandages on their faces. If the boy discovered that they were girls, he would likely back off and they could finish off Kodachi. The Black Rose had other plans, however.   
  
Despite the fact that she could, undoubtedly, have dispatched the cretins who challenged the mighty heiress to the Kuno fortune, there was something desirable about a man willing to act so chivalrously on her behalf. He had also called her pretty and, though Kodachi knew her beauty far surpassed such standards, she was unaccustomed to boys describing her in such terms (males were uncommon within the confines of a girls' school). Finally, the youth was both a handsome and healthy specimen, stirring a sort of lust in her. For such a Kuno to experience such a reaction, despite her superior breeding, the boy could be none other than her star-crossed lover.  
  
So it came to be that, following Ryouga's well-meaning declaration, a bundle of female flesh glomped onto him, prompting a severe nose bleed on the martial artist's part. "Oh fair sir, thank you so much for saving me! Truly, it must be fate that we meet in this fashion! Tell me your name, handsome warrior!"  
  
The combination of praise and physical stimulation nearly overwhelmed Ryouga, but he fought to remain cognizant. No girl had ever shown him true affection. He'd long given up on finding a girlfriend, considering his sense of direction, but now a lovely girl was practically throwing herself at him, awakening primal desires he'd never known existed. He couldn't lose such an opportunity. He needed to act suave and sophisticated.  
  
"Eheheheheheh... er... I'm Ryouga."  
  
Arms tightening around her new beau, Kodachi swung the teen aged boy around, so that the two faced away from the girls who had attacked her. A quick flick of her ribbon dispatched them at of her love's sight. "Oh, Ryouga, my love, don't you feel it!?! The purity of our love stuns me!"  
  
Ryouga was definitely stunned, but whether this resulted from the purity of love or Kodachi's squirming body sensually rubbing against him was open for debate.   
  
"You're speechless, my love! Here! Allow me show you the love I feel for you!"  
  
Aggressively, Kodachi's lips forced themselves over Hibiki's wide open mouth. Her tongue dove inside, tasting every part of him, absorbing the whirlwind of sensations in a moment of ecstasy. Then she noticed an oddity; the handsome youth she'd kissed wasn't responding at all. In fact, if she wasn't mistaken, he was...  
  
The Black Rose disengaged her lips from Ryouga and released his body from her lusty grip. The boy collapsed bonelessly to the ground with a goofy grin on his face. No. Such a response was not what she had anticipated. A man worthy of a Kuno could not collapse after a simple kiss. She deserved one made of sterner stuff. Perhaps, she had misjudged the whims of destiny, for Ryouga was obviously of an inferior breed. The only explanation possible was that he was preparation for meeting a man who could truly steal her heart. Soon, she would find her true love.  
  
Releasing a crazed laugh, Kodachi disappeared in a flash of black rose petals. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH! Very soon, my true love shall be found!"  
  
Nearly a half hour passed before Ryouga awoke. Foremost on his mind was discovering the identity of the fair maiden who had seemed so enamored with him. Secondly, he felt giving some thought to his current predicament might be useful. What was said predicament?  
  
Upon awakening, the lost boy discovered that for some unfathomable reason, he had been mounted on a large, wooden pole. The ropes which bound him could, of course, be easily broken, but the mass of mallet wielding females glaring at him from the ground suggested that such plans would prove less than ideal. For some reason, Ryouga had been stripped down to his boxer shorts, tied to a pole and was being carried around an unknown Japanese city by a mob of enraged females. Escape would require subtlety, tact and charm.  
  
"Why the Hell is this happening to me !?!" Unfortunately, none of the aforementioned traits have ever been hallmarks of the Hibiki line.  
  
A tall, dark-haired girl was the first to reply. "You have been captured by WASPs for your heinous crimes! Attempts to escape will result in immediate castration!" Ryouga eeped.  
  
"But, what have I done? And what's a wasp?"  
  
"Well, as far as I know, wasps are little insects. Your crime, however, is unforgivable! You violated our sacred charter! Thus, we are taking you to the great leader for judgment!"  
  
"Whaddya mean, violated the charter? And what's this business about wasps capturing me?"  
  
If anything, the glares at Ryouga intensified. Deadly calm, a second girl from the crowd pulled out a yellowing scroll, looking as if it had emerged from the dark ages. Upon the scroll, in obviously computer-generated print were the words Cult of WASP Sacred Charter, First Edition (Circa 1994). Most cults had long ago discovered that ancient looking documents were far more impressive than ordinary manuscripts and the Cult of WASP was no exception.  
  
"Womanizing, perverted scoundrel, you have violated article 352, section 13, subsection 47, clause 17 of the sacred document: Thou shalt castrate any male who truly pisses any member of WASP off. Helping that harlot, Kodachi Kuno, has infuriated nearly the entire membership. You'll be lucky to escape alive."  
  
By this point in the conversation, Ryouga had zoned out. The beautiful woman who had kissed him and declared her love was named Kodachi! He would never forget her: his love. "I think I'm in love."  
  
"Trying to pull the true love mitigating circumstances, huh? Well I ain't buyin' it! If you think an excuse like that will convince the Women Against Sexist Pigs to release you, think again. I can't wait to see what our messiah decides to do with you! Hahahahahahahah!"  
  
"I love you with all my heart, dear Kodachi! When I see you again-"   
  
A large mallet struck Ryouga's head, breaking the trance he'd been in effectively. Up ahead, he was sure he spotted a dojo. In fact, the sign on the building declared the structure the Tendo Dojo. Tendo... there was something familiar about that name; he was certain that he had heard the name before. The name had something to do with Ranma. Deciding to ignore the matter for the moment, Ryouga began to consider his escape. He couldn't let these girls steal either his life or manhood. The lost boy still had a man to man fight to finish with Ranma after all.   
  
The pigtailed bane of Ryouga's existence casually strolled by, looking up to see what the big mob of girls was carrying. He blinked for a second and then smirked. "Ryouga, you sly dog. You never told me you were into bondage, and with so many girls at that!"  
  
The fanged martial artist saw red and would have charged, if a much more dangerous threat to Ranma's life had not charged first. "Girls! He's just as bad as the other one! Attack!"  
  
Forty or so furious young woman charged a surprised Ranma, beat him senseless, and strung him up right below Ryouga.  
  
"Ranma, you sly dog. You never told me you were into bondage, and with so many girls at that!" Ryouga smugly mocked his rival.  
  
"Shut up, lost boy!"  
  
-o--o--o-  
  
A gentle knock struck Akane's bedroom door. Though Dr. Tofu had given the heirs to Anything Goes martial arts an excuse to miss school, the youngest of Soun Tendo's daughters was unwilling to fall behind in her education. Ranma might be willing to laugh off his homework, but Akane wanted good grades. Thus, significant reviewing of course material would be necessary, in order to make up the classes she had missed. Therefore, the young woman had chosen to spend her afternoon studying on her bed. Intrusions were unwelcome; she had work to do.   
  
"Ranma, I'm busy! I don't have time to talk right now!"  
  
The door creaked open and Akane readied her math textbook for throwing, if her fiancé had ignored her directive. Instead, she was confronted with a small girl, who could not have been more than fourteen years old. The girl's face lit up, as Akane came into view.  
  
"It's you! The messiah! I never imagined I would actually meet you in person!"  
  
Nonplused, Akane simply stared blankly in response. Whoever this little girl was, she was obviously deluded. The sixteen year-old would simply straighten out whatever confusion had arisen.  
  
"We have brought two sexist pigs for judgment, just as you commanded in the sacred texts!"  
  
"What!?!"  
  
Grabbing Akane's arm and literally dragging the Tendo sister outside, the younger girl brought her idol to the high priestess of WASP, grinning the entire way. "Come quickly! We don't want the misogynist scum escaping!"  
  
Before she could protest, the martial arts prodigy was wrapped in a beautiful, white robe and placed on a pedestal, in front of a large wooden pole. Upon the pole, Ryouga and Ranma were still tied up, stripped down to their boxer shorts.  
  
"Let the holy ceremonies begin!" a woman in clothing nearly as garish as Akane's announced to a mass of young women standing before the pedestal. "The writer of the journal, our messiah, is come!"  
  
"Wait a minute! You're the jerks who stole my journal! Why should I help-"  
  
An entire role of duck tape was wrapped around Akane's face, silencing her protests. The high priest turned and whispered in Akane's ear, "The great goddess, Nabiki Tendo, sold us a copy, which we adapted for the true purposes of Akane Tendo: the messiah!"  
  
Then louder, she announced, "What our messiah truly means to say is..."  
  
Very badly, the priestess engaged in ventriloquism: "Thank you, my loyal followers. Now, let us cast these fools into the fires of Hell!"  
  
Wham!  
  
The priestess was sent into low orbit by an uppercut from Akane, who quickly tore through the tape and attempted to counteract the damage that had already been done. "No! She's... I mean... I'm lying! Nothing she said about me was true! Don't hurt them!"  
  
For a moment, the mob of fanatical, young women seemed to waver in indecision. Then a high-ranking priestess at the back of the crowd yelled, "She's just testing our faith!" The crowd stopped wavering and began to advance on Ranma and Ryouga again.  
  
"Argh! This is ridiculous! Ranma, you're going to owe me for this!"  
  
Akane leapt over the crowds to the pole where her friends had been mounted and, with a mighty heave, uprooted the wooden forty foot tall, wooden pillar. She then began to flee desperately, carrying the pole, trying to outrun her fanatical adherents.  
  
"Jeez, Akane! How manly do you get? I mean, uprooting a-"  
  
"Ranma, if you want me to give you back to them, you're saying the right sort of things."  
  
"Er... Never mind then."  
  
"And why don't you get dressed!?! Don't you think it's a little perverted to be running all over town dressed in your underwear?"  
  
Running around a street corner, Akane suddenly found her view and path obstructed by a storm of black rose petals. Emerging from within, a figure clad in nothing but a black leotard appeared, wielding a giant, wooden mallet.  
  
"So, harlot, you would challenge me in my rhythmic gymnastics match next week?"  
  
"What match?"  
  
"Do not attempt to deceive me, Akane Tendo. I will not be ensnared by your foul perversions like the men you have forced yourself upon!"  
  
"What are you-" She glanced upwards and noticed the two, half-naked teens tied to the pole she was carrying. A blush rose on her cheeks momentarily, but was quickly replaced by anger.   
  
Akane plowed the pole into a nearby wall, inadvertently crushing both Ryouga and Ranma. "It's not what it looks like!"  
  
Nearly unconscious, Ryouga muttered, "Don't worry, Kodachi. I l-l-l-urgh" He trailed off, losing consciousness.  
  
"Do not attempt to beguile me, dark temptress! I know that you are the only woman in Furinkan High left to challenge me, so let us fight fairly prior to the competition!"  
  
"What are you talking about!?!"  
  
A flying mallet silenced Akane's protestations, as she was forced to slimly dodge the attack.  
  
"Now! Akane Tendo, prepare to die!"  
  
Kodachi charged, launching a punch that was dodged and a kick Akane blocked. Grabbing the foot she had just deflected, the Tendo daughter yelled, "I've had enough!" and plowed her own kick into Kodachi's side, sending the Black Rose flying into a concrete wall.  
  
The martial arts gymnast did not strike the wall, however, because an unconscious Ranma's body blocked her path, inadvertently cushioning her impact. Surprised she had not sustained greater injury, Kodachi turned and faced the boy who had defended her from harm so bravely.  
  
"Oh, mysterious stranger, I am awed by your heroism. I love you."  
  
Unfortunately for the Black Rose, declaring her undying love resulted in her defenses lowering, so Akane's finishing punt launched the young Kuno heiress miles away from her new beau.   
  
Grimacing, the heir to the Tendo dojo picked up both her fiancé and his rival and began the long walk back to her residence. Something told her that this was not the last she would see of Kodachi Kuno. Also, she wondered how Ranma got away with calling himself so tough; she already had to save him three or four times today and carry him twice.   
  
"Well Ranma, I suppose that, if you think that toughness is a man's trait, then your curse has been affecting you far more than you thought."  
  
AN:Ah man, has it ever been a long time since the last update. I think almost three weeks have passed. I suppose I should apologize for the wait, but this chapter was gruelling to write. Oh well. The next installment should be considerably more fun. Once again, thanks to reviewers and please, reviewers, keep the feedback coming. 


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